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What is your definition of hate? Do you allow your children to say they hate people?

My parents always got upset when I said I hated someone. Their definition is: When you hate something, you wish it didn't exist... same goes with people. It stuck with me and I don't allow my son to say that he hates people because in my eyes, that means that he wishes they didn't exist (dead). Kinda silly, I know but this is how I was raised and I still feel the same way.

I don't think of people differently or look down on them when it comes to this, I am just curious.

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ProudMom_5703

Asked by ProudMom_5703 at 2:20 PM on Jan. 30, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 1 (-7 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I was never allowed to say hate, i dont even like saying hate..i do, but only about certain situations or junk like that. I don't allow my kids to say it, its a strong word. Hate has always hurt peoples feelings when talking or saying it about them, so instead i try to lean more towards "i really wish this wasn't happening" or about people i'm like "i really dont like what they're doing" or "i wish they'd find another way to act"..something like that. Because hating doesn't change the existance of it, it just sounds hurtful..

    hope that makes sense! :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • i dont allow my kids to say they hate people because i feel that the more hate thats in ur heart the less love u can hold
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 2:37 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • I never tried to control the words my kids used... mostly because I didn't want to distract the subject from the problem at hand to something as pointless as 'I am supposed to control you.'

    The problem at hand, imo, was always that they had a limited vocabulary and strong feelings. So, whenever this came up, I took it as a need for more words that had more texture and more understanding of what was going on for them. Rather than repeat the word back to the child (reinforcing its power in the child's mind), I'd respond to what I thought was really going on:

    'You are really angry right now about...[whatever I thought it might be]' and continue the conversation based on what they wanted to be different, what they expected and what they needed.

    I have noticed that hate is not the opposite of love, it's the frustration of it. Indifference is the opposite of love... hatefulness does a lot of damage to the hater.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:17 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • I used hate, I don't think of it as wishing it was gone. I hate red meat but DH likes it, so I don't wish it gone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • I don't like my children to use the word "hate". I tell them it is better to say you don't like something or someone then to say hate because it is a "ugly" word.
    ARIAS1111

    Answer by ARIAS1111 at 9:57 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • i wasnt allowed to use the word hate either my kids use it. i hear it more than i would like
    mischele

    Answer by mischele at 12:12 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

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