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What is wrong with this child?

My son is 5 years old, almost 6. I don't know what to do with him anymore. He has lived with us for 3 years and I adopted him recently. His mother died of a drug overdose and he never knew her as he went from house to house because no one wanted him full time, all they knew is they didn't want my husband (his father) to have him. He has MAJOR issues and lately they have been getting worse. Today he threatened to kill my 4 y.o with a knife and then decided the was going to kill me with a knife while I slept and then run away. He has been very mean and aggressive in the past few weeks. I really don't know what else to do. I am taking him to a mental health clinic in a week but, I don't know what to do til then. His bio-family is not currently in the picture because when he talks to them he acts WAY worse. And his dad is in Afghanistan for two more months so, it is just me and my mom taking care of my five kids.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jan. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (45)
  • What can I do to ensure my kids, all of them remain safe until I can get him to a doctor. I am not assuming what happened to him while out of our care I am just trying to get him in good mental condition and get him safe and sound to adulthood, just like all parents try to do for their children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • call the pedi asap
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:00 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • i would try to get him into the clinic sooner. you could try explaining that he is threatening the safety of you and your children.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 7:02 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • I would guess that you need to get him into therapy and quickly. Call your pediatrician and ask for recommendations. Seriously, this kid has been told for a good deal of his life that he isn't worth anything. He comes to you and though you care for him, and probably love him, he may see slight differences in how he is treated - kid A asks for a blue cup and gets it but he can't have one because that was the last one but because he is a kid he doesn't get the "if I had one I'd give it to you logic- Not saying that you treat him differently, but his sees it that way. Until you get him into counseling try to make special time just for him, big hugs and tell him how much you love him. He also probably misses his dad and may have extra anxiety from him being gone.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:03 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Sounds like an attachment disorder
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • i would have his ass admitted to the hospital ASAP you never know what those drugs did to that poor baby's brain. also i would make sure that ALL possible weapons (knives, forks, hammers, rope, anything) was kept faaaaar away under lock and key somewhere, where he could never get to it even with a chair! i wouldnt take that lightly. have you tried asking him why he is so angry with you? maybe he wants something or someone that he is not getting?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Are you letting him watch movies or play games showing killing people? Children learn what they live so he had to be exposed to knifing someone to be able to threaten it. I'd be concerned about who is teaching him that. His anger is understandable. He probably feels like his mom and dad both have abandoned him and if you have that many children then he probably feels unimportant. Are your children accepting him or are they antagonizing him? Something is triggering his aggressiveness. Just don't yell at him or engage him in arguments. If a child threatened to kill me I'd have to respond by telling him how sad I'd be to be dead bc I'd miss him. I'd tell him how much I loved him and would hate to be away from him. He sounds like he desperately needs to hear words of love right now. He sounds like he doesn't feel loved. Keep reminding him he is valued and loved. If he will allow it I'd show him affection in hugs.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:09 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Sounds like normal behavior for a boy with his past. I would seek help ASAP and talk to a behavioral therapist about how you can help him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • His bedroom has a backwards lock so, the only way he can get out is to bust out his bedroom window and screen. He is angry with me because he has spent three years trying to run me off. He thinks he chased off every person that ever cared for him so, he thinks he can do it to me. I think he has an attachment problem. He was seeing a therapist over the summer but all he wanted to do was talk and it wasn't doing anything for him. Sometimes I think he needs medication to calm him down and level him out. I don't have any experience with mental issues. I don't want him to be committed but it is coming down to that being the only choice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • if he threatens you again, even if it's just verbal you know what he's caplable of and you can have him committed to a psych ward. they can treat and maybe get a child psychologist to talk to him. you should let him know it's for his own good and you only want him better. any local hospital can help you with the process or you can call dfs and they may be able to direct you in the right direction.you know you have to help this child in order for him to live a normal life, the longer it goes on the worse it can get. you shouldn't live in fear just as he shouldn't live with this disorder longer than he has to. good luck.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 7:21 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

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