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Does the silent treatment work? bc i really would rather not talk to my hubby right now!

he can be such an immature little jerk sometimes. i really love him to death and we laugh and get along great most times, but he refuses to have any kind of depth to our convereations. i am the type where if i have a problem with you i like to sit down and talk about it right then, he would rather but it to the side and wait until it explodes and lets everything out at one time! thats the only way to get him to listen but i HATE fighting with him bc he fights dirty. he doesnt have a productive argument, he wants to pull out the one thing that will hurt the most. are we doomed to fail!! i am not perfect but he refuses to let me know when i have gotten on his nerves or angered him...i always like to know how we can be better. when i try to talk he always gets sarcastic and defensive. so im not talking to him at all! he tries to talk about tv and music and other unimportant stuff, but i want to work on us n not casual filler....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jan. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Yeah you're doomed imo,you have no communicating skills, by you I mean hubby.lol.Things will only get worse, resentments will get buried and you will end up hating each other unless you get some counseling and get the tools you need to communicate,once you have them, it makes things easier. Men need instructions, so I'm guessing the silent treatment isn't going to get you anywhere...when he does or says something stupid, instead of just telling him how stupid it was offer suggestions as to what he might have done instead that would have been more positive,this little trick helped my boyfriend a LOT. Men are insecure and when they're told they've done something stupid, they feel angry with themselves & retreat & end up barking at you rather than trying to make things better, try a more positive twist next time like 'honey, I would have felt better if you'd have done A instead of B, can you make a note of that 4 next time?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • My dad was not a talker, unless it's game related. My mom said to ignore him totally. I just do the things i the home, school related, cleaning, cook, and offer hot drinks etc. I only learned talking to men took up their time to answer due to the FACT they cannot process a question. PERIOD!. So what I've taught myself along that line is just to become a pray-er. Pray for protection. Pray for mercy. Pray for my mouth to keep shut if I need to pray each time, just do it!. I didn't get one thing from responding to their targeted sarcasm. I did get much more from the done-ness of a clean home, and the doing it right myself -ness. It's a hard life, men don't come with instructions much like children, but I know the corners and boundaries. I can predict the arguments now. IT alone is a great accomplishment. You're not alone. You're always in good company !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • My SO wouldn't fight for anything when things happen. He does the silent treatment thing (Passive-aggressive jerk). He will walk away and cool off while I am wanting to talk about it and get things back on track NOW. lol He wins though. He just won't discuss anything while angry. It must be that military discipline that does it. I also think that's why he has high blood pressure. He holds it all in but some men are like that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:15 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Like i said, ( I'm 1st anon.) Men don't process questions ..PERIOD~!!!!

    ANOTHER poster on here says she can't get help in the home 1 day per month, I used to say that, about my period. And, when I leave it to grace on days he's picked ahead, as to when he is able it works much better. But he does favors by chores outside home, and it's always plus in the home when he decides his way to execute that. So I just don't pay attention.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • MEN ! ! CANT LIVE WITH THEM AND U CANT LIVE WITH OUT THEM !
    lightbulbe

    Answer by lightbulbe at 7:20 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • you should try couples counseling......it works if you want the marriage to work
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 8:01 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • I'm not into silent treatment. I WILL, however, walk away and not talk to SO for a bit if I am so mad that I am tempted to say something incredibly hurtful or that I just know will not help the situation. It's not silent treatment, it's simply a step back until I can calm down enough to discuss the situation rationally. He does the same. Nothing wrong with that. But silent treatment itself...not helpful. Communication is sooo important. Walk away until you're calm, but don't completely ignore him either.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:05 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

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