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Is it normal for my 19 month old to have an attitude problem??

My 19 month old daughter, who is usually very sweet and gentle, is developing quite a little attitude. If I tell her to put something down, she will throw it. If I ask her not to touch something, she will throw her papers all over the floor. This is addition to frequent, short-lived tantrums.

She scratches and ocassionally hits as well. I tell her to give me "nice touches", and she will comply.

I try to talk to her calmly, and tell her what she CAN do/touch instead of what she CAN'T do/touch, but it doesn't seem to be working.

It's very embarrassing, because I am getting ready to visit relatives, and I'm afraid that they will notice her attitude and think it's because I'm not doing a good job parenting her.

Any advice? I'm not a spanker, so that option is out.



Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Jan. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • (cont. from above)
    I go away, count to 90, & go back. I tell her again why she was in time-out, & if she does it again, she will come back to time-out. I also tell her to say she's sorry, then give her a hug & send her on her way.
    1 minute per age in years to sit there... Time out starts when she's quiet. Have a specific "time-out spot" in your house, preferably one with little activity.

    I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to get through the terrible 2s without spanking, but time-outs have worked really well! I have been very pleasantly surprised. The way some people talk, you would think not spanking equates to letting a child raise themselves in the wild ;-)

    Gotta love Supernanny! :-D

    Answer by emslala at 4:14 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Since your not a spanker did you try time out? Is your voice conveying that she is in trouble? I'm sorry I'm not much help but I've never had a problem like this usally when my kids act up I use my "you are about to get a spanking voice" and they stop what they are doing

    Answer by symle456 at 9:10 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Welcome to the world of toddlers. They seem to revel in not listening. It really isn't true. They are starting to realize that they have some control over things and since they have a little control they want it all. Couple this with learning how to communicate, because even the ones with the best vocabs still aren't great at verbalizing, and you have mommy pulling out her hair and baby having tantrums. I hear that it is all a warm up for the teen years, and from what I've seen, it isn't far from the truth.

    Just be consistent in your discipline. Eventually she will get it, but not without some embarrassing and or trying moments. The most important thing is the consistency, which your relatives will see. And if they still judge you, then that is their problem, not yours.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 9:11 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Oh yes mine has an attitude as well, and if they think it is your fault they can stick it, they all go through this. You just have to keep telling her the right things to do over and over and over and over and over, time out is good, but a swat on the diaper doesn't hurt it just gets attention.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 9:13 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • stick to your guns, and try time out, and welcome to the terrible 2s :)

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:14 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Mine is 22 months, & she started the same thing around the 16 month mark. It's just the terrible 2s, from what I've heard from other mamas.
    I do time-outs, & my DD has responded very well to them. I tell her: 1) Anna, no, don't do that (or put it back, or whatever). 2) Stop it (or put it back, or whatever), or go to time out. 3) Then I count to 3- I say, "One.... Two.... Three. Ok, time out." & walk over, take whatever it is away, & put her in her time-out spot immediately. When I put her in her time-out spot, I tell her, "Anna, you are in time-out for _____. We don't do that (or "We don't act that way." if it is a tantrum). You are in time out for 1 1/2 minutes. Sit down, be quiet, & mommy will be back to get you when your time is up."
    (cont. below)

    Answer by emslala at 4:08 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

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