Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


What are your views on adoption?

I don't have the money or the right enviorment to raise a child should i keep it and be selfish or give it up and give it a chance at life and to succeed?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Jan. 30, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (11)
  • I think you answered your own question. I would personally NEVER do adoption. Not because I am selfish, but because I am just that motivated to make the life I WANT for my child. At 36 weeks I had absolutely nothing and I was planning an adoption. After the ultrasound I became extremely anxious towards the adoption and just downright unhappy. I talked to the adoption worker and she told me to take a week and pretend I was parenting and see how I felt. I went on Craigslist and Freecycle, pretty much begged people for stuff. I got a FULLY stocked nursery done, painted, two carseats, etc for my child. I am not on WIC or any other PA. I am doing everything SOLO and I stay at home. I do my business on Ebay to make the money I need to. I take care of the bills and handle MY business.

    You understand your situation and see that parenting the child isn't the right option for you at this time, so let a loving couple do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • I think adoption is a wonderful option for people that become pregnant and do not feel they are ready to raise a baby.

    There is nothing shameful about it.

    Answer by Tummysmomma at 11:40 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • I think that parenting should be supported if the mother wishes to and if she is truly unable to she should then consider adoption after all other options have been exhausted.

    Answer by miriamz at 12:40 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • i agree if you think you can't raise a child then let a loving family take that job, but be very selective. Be sure that you can't parent and aren't willing to make it work first it isn't reversable.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 12:50 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • There is nothing selfish about raising your own child. Unless your child would be in danger, the most selfless thing would be to raise your child in it's birth family. children do not need money or "things" they need their mothers, and love. The selfless thing would be to do eveything you can to provide a roof over your childs head, food, and the love of it's birth family.People who come "from nothing" often go on to do great things and have a great life.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:26 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Adoption is a great option for children in need, and parents that want to love those children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • A kid can have all the money & all the advantages that kind of a life brings & still be all messed up & a basic failure in life. I've seen it happen. What matter more is the love & emotional support of your family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • If you decide to keep your child, there is no shame in taking assistance if you need it. You can buy clothes at the thrift store and use Freecyclers like someone mentioned. We had almost everything we needed given to us, so we spent next to nothing on things like clothes, crib, high chairs, etc. You don't need all of the fancy baby gadgets. Be sure to really think it through before making your decision.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:42 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • If you are WILLING to make a better life for your child then keep the baby !! If you are just going to be lazy and not try and give that baby a better life then ive that baby up to someone who WILL give that baby a better life !
    I hate to see YOUNG girls who have 1-4 kids or even more and they just keep up the life they have and not try to better the life for thier kids. Grow be responsible or give up the baby to adoption so that the kid(s) have a better life .

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • To be honest only you can answer this question. I was adopted and I am very close with my birth mother,she basically said the same thing as you are saying, but with her she wasn't ready to make the changes she needed to raise me. The thing is, is a baby is forever if you raise the child or not, but only you truly know if you are ready to make the life changes needed to give your child the life he or she deserves. If you are not ready to change your life or for some reason are unable to make the changes then adoption is the best choice, but if you can get everything on track keep the baby.

    Answer by MiddletonFamily at 9:21 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.