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The ring came off again....

Last night we were watching a movie & I said something I probably shouldn't have but didn't think it was a marriage ender. We were watching Daddy's Little Girls & I said that their mother was acting like a N word. I'm white, hubby's black he tells me all the time that I'm now an honorary black mother bc I'm rasing a black child. I asked him how I'm supposed to respond when my dd comes home using it. W/ the overabundance of rappers etc constantly using it I think its inevitable that she'll use it. So I'm not supposed to use it but he can & she can? This makes NO sense to me @ all. I was trying to ask hubby about it, he took off his ring & threw it in the trash & told me our marriage is over. Understand how charged that word is, wouldn't say it in public or call him one, I was commenting upon some stupid ignorant behavior, had she been white I would've called her the C word so.... idk, what do you think?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I think it was a great opportunity for communication (like you obviously did) and he over reacted. If it was a marriage ender topic he should have told you that before you got married. You have a valid point and it should have been discussed especially if the child is using the word. Is he going to leave her too? His actions should be the same for each family member that uses it or that will confuse her. What will he tell his dd is the reason he left? If he tells her the truth she will sit and worry that he will leave her as well. He needs to calm down and think this out. I think it's serious enough to take time to talk about it as a family.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:21 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • i don't think anyone should use that word. black, white or other wise.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • You say "the ring came off again" maybe there is something else going on, why does or has he taken his ring off before? Maybe there is more to it than just this little incident! I dont understand why he would get so mad, over something like that! I dont agree with using the N word at all but since you explained what you ment I can understand. But maybe you should use a better term next time....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • not knowing you or your dh, i'd say his taking of his ring (again?) isn't because you said a derogatory name. i'd wager he'll use the "N'' as an excuse and blame it on that. there must be other issues here. taking off his dang ring? come on..that's childish.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:28 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Ya...more going on here than just your poor choice of words. I would be asking him what's REALLY going on.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:33 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • White or black I don't think anyone should say it either.If your black I think your putting yourself down, if your white it's disrespectful.But reading between the lines you both should be comfortable by now being with eachother black and white, so maybee it's a mistake for the 2 of you, sad you all should have thought about these issues BEFORE you had children, they are the ones that pay. You'll forget they WON"T!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • I would have been offended. What you said was very rude and maybe there is something going on with you that we all don't know about. We are only getting one side of the story.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • i would say him taking his ring off is childish and a way for him to try to get his way and get your attention and its the only way he knows how. Maybe he doesnt know how to talk to you. As far as the "N" word goes i don't believe anyone should be saying it but if you are going to say it then don't say things like "you are acting like a "N".....i mean, how does a "N" act? I think its okay if you are around people that want to call each other the name meaning "my friend"....but thats the only time.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:50 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • You were out of line, OP! You need to apologize!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • why would you marry a black man if you think like that!!! he needs to leave you..
    r00j04j08

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 10:39 AM on Jan. 31, 2010

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