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Is this okay?

We (my MIL, whom is our roommate, and is raising her grand-kids, our nephews. I watch them part-time, while I do school 3/4 time, and raise my own 5 year old) have a 4 year old, hyperactive boy. He really really loves Tinkerbell and all her movies. He has been asking me desperately to buy him a Tinkerbell toy (which i will get him as soon as i get paid, and get all the bills situated). The three of us were sitting in the kitchen discussing his love for Tinkerbell, and his grandma mentions that she thinks he's going to be gay. Does it really matter? and should we be discussing this at such a young age? or should we just wait and see how he turns out?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • did mil ever think he could be ATTRACTED to tinkerbell. my four yr old boy loves tink and wants to marry her.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:33 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • at 4 its nothing more than a toy, my son used to LOVE Dora the explorer and wanted dora dolls and such, did he grow out of that...yes, do I think he is going to be gay, not really, but he is still too young to say, he is into Thomas the tank engine now...BUT, anytime he sees a play kitchen he will play with it for hours baking cookies and pies...its just a TOY!

    Answer by jlizgar at 1:18 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • You know I hate it when parents and people in general stereotype kids because of what they play with. I hate it when people say boy toys or girl toys. They are TOYS plain and simple. I have a little guy who is nine, he absolutely loves tinkerbell, disney princesses and make up. Am I going to squash his individuality and tell him "you can't play with that?" of course not. He laughs, he understands that it's a "girl" toy and when he dresses up in his sister's princess dresses he laughs and twirls around and giggles. It's all in fun for him. I want to teach my children that it's okay to be yourself on the outside too, and that if others judge you then they are the one with the problem not you. As long as they respect others, show love and compassion I don't care if they came home wearing ten piercings and tattoos. Buy him that doll, let him enjoy his childhood, not force him into some stupid societal mold just to please grama.

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 1:19 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Does it matter? No. Why even talk about it. Teaching him not to like "girly" things and shoving trucks and boy toys down his throat will never change his sexuality, it's out of your control. Secondly, not all gay men grew up playing with girl toys.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • I just want to add, have you ever watched the show "ugly bettty"? Take a look at betty's nephew. He stated in one episode he isn't gay. If you know that show you'll see what I'm talking about here in making my point. It's all about individuality without worrying about what others think. Sure kids can be mean, but trying too hard to "fit in" is harder than just being yourself...ya know? Watch a few episodes of ugly betty and set grandma next to ya too, she just might learn something. :)

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 1:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • At this age it means nothing! Does my DD loving Manny mean something OR her loving Dora?? He will be what he will be and you will love him!! Tell them that it is does not matter you love him no matter what he loves!

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 1:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • a toy is a toy. plain and simple. and good for you for actually buying him one at some point. my five year old son loves the new tinkerbell movie that has come out, we watch it often.

    Answer by 82ndairbornewif at 1:32 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • personally its true there will be alot of steriotype of people in the world. but you must ignor them and you do whats best for you child. my cousins son loves Dora Dora, and her daughter likes boy things better. shes not girly at all. And her mom doesn't think theres anything wrong with thst.:)

    Answer by incarnita at 8:32 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • ps, she doesn't that her son or daughter will be gay for that reason. lol

    Answer by incarnita at 8:33 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I would take MIL aside and speak to her about the dangers of pronouncing these kinds of "sentences" on children period. It's the same thing as saying he will grow up stupid, or he will never amount to anything. Children are very sensitive to whatever they hear said to them or about them. Words are extremely powerful tools or weapons, depending upon how they are used. Grown ups should always be extremely careful about what they say to and within the hearing of children. You can be kind about it, saying you are sure she has never thought about just how influential her words are because the children love her so much. Then ask her to please be more conscious of what she is saying in the future.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:28 AM on Feb. 1, 2010