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would you allow your husband to punish your children (not his) even if he was the only father figure in the picture.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • Yes
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • yes, my son calls him daddy and thats part of a daddy's job
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:39 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Yes. My kids are not just MY kid. and his kid is not just HIS kid. We got married. It's OUR family. it's OUR children.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:41 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • I think it would depend on what type of punishment we're talking about and the age of the child. Giving a timeout to a 5 yr old, no problem...half beating any of them. Hell no! In our house it's sort of having the shoe on the other foot, I'm the one that watches my stepboys all the time. DH has primary custody so we have them pretty much most of the time, BM lives too far for lots of visiting.
    It would make no sense for me to not discipline them if dad isn't home, you know the 'wait til your father gets home' stuff. If they think they can get away with everything now, ages 4 & 5, then what happens when they get older?
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 1:43 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Absolutely. Children respond more favorable to discipline from dad than they do to discipline from mom. And if dad reinforces what mom has done when he isn't around, mom will have many fewer problems, too.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:45 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • It depends on the age of the children and how long you have been together for. If your kids are older than 4 or so, I'd say you punish them but have your husband back you up. When you guys have been married for 7-10 years, then he can start punishing. I learned this in a divorce class I had to attend.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Yes, I would. My SO and I aren't married yet, but he is allowed to discipline them to a degree. If/when we get married, he will more than likely adopt them, thereby making him their father, and so of course, I would allow him the right to punish them as he sees fit (within reason, not abusing them, of course.). I don't think anon 1:46's theory of him punishing after 7-10 years would really work. After that long of not having to be punished by him, I find it difficult to think that they would listen to him at that point, even if he HAD been backing Mom up the entire time.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Absolutely. By not letting him, you are undermining him as an authority figure and the children will not respect him.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 2:05 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Yeah if they live with you and your child(ren) part of that role is being a parent figure. What good is "wait til your mother gets home" going to do? Being an adult in a family is carrying out discipline/punishment.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 2:13 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • yes my daughter is juast as much his daughter as she is mine they are very close she is a step daddy's girl
    mom2ryneandsam

    Answer by mom2ryneandsam at 4:57 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

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