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how do i get my son to listen to me?

my son is 17 months old and has stopped listening to me and my husband. he throws all his toys. especially if he gets mad. when we try to tell him no he throws himself on the floor and pitches a fit, or throws whatever he's holding in his hand. even if we're not saying no in a stern tone. for instance, he reached up for my soda earlier. i told him that the soda wasn't good for him. that daddy was getting him juice and he would be back in a few minutes. he got mad and threw himself on the floor and started screaming at the top of his lungs. we try to tell him and show him that it's bad to throw his toys or other stuff but he just won't listen to anything anyone says. i don't know what to do. i don't know how to get him to listen to either of us. it's getting really frustrating.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (4)
  • I actually have learned that when my son does that to ignore him... Its an attention thing i guess im not sure really....But i ingore my son and eventually yours will get the picture" wow i throw a fit they dont give me attention so i guess i wont throw one anymore" is what they prob think..Ha i dunno...they also need that "stability" I dunno you might want to try to not give him any attention. LIke mine constantly wants to put his hand in the trash, i used to tell him NO do not touch the trash and i will slap his hand (OF COURSE NOT HARD but enough where he knew i was serious) well that actually taught him to hit!!!!! haha so now I just say NO really firm and move him to another room and i kept doing that about the 5th time he has now learned...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • He's too young to understand all the words you are saying to him. First, quit drinking soda in front of him if you don't want him to have it. He can't understand why it's ok for you and not for him. You are creating his frustrations. He has no concept of time so daddy's trip to get him juice means nothing to him. All he knows is that he is thirsty and you are refusing him something to help take his thirst away. No is just a word to him and he's not totally understanding it's meaning other than you and dad are depriving him of something he wants. He's not old enough to have good communication skills. If he throws something then take it away. If he throws a temper tantrum get in the floor (down at his level) and be calm. Rub his arm or back or whatever to try to calm him then see if he'll look at you and then smile. Something simple as that can calm them. Then hold him and start playing. Distract him from the bad behavior.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:11 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • My daughter is 21 months old, and does the exact same thing. I do believe that she doesn't understand, but remember these are teaching moments. I stay calm, I pick her up and put her in a closet (just kidding, making sure you're with me :P) I pick her up and bring her with me to the fridge, I offer her different options, milk, juice, water, or would she like some fruit instead? Also I put the soda away, out of sight out of mind, she's still a baby, not much rationalizing going on with her, but I don't pitch a fit either, I want to teach her that hey just cause u don't get it doesn't mean you can freak out. Sometimes she goes on forever in these fits, then she has to go to time out, let her cry it out. When she's done, we can move on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Ignore him, make sure he will not hurt himself when he is throwing his tantrum but other then that walk away..My pediatrician gave me that advice 40 years ago, and with 8 kids that was the best advice anybody ever gave me...

    Answer by 40yrmom at 9:56 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

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