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Wat to do!!

Well my fiance & me have a date set to get married on Oct. 2, 2010. Well The last couple of weeks I have had mixed feelings. At first I wanted to get married that week & jus have the wedding later. Then we make plans to get married in a couple of days, then I change my mind & want to wait till Oct. Then I want to get married sooner. then sumtimes I dont want to get married at all. I dont know if this has anything to do w/ it, but my ex that I was w/ for almost 2 yrs. jus got married a couple of weeks ago. We have only been split up 8 months. I have been w/ my fiance in the past, & I do love him, Iam in love w/ him. I kno I dont love my ex & im not in love w/ him. Like I said tho I dont kno if this has anything to do w/ my mixed feelings, but its jus sum stuff that has been goin on latley. plz help me out, I never doubt that I dnt want to be w/ my fiance for the rest of my life. I jus dont understand y I have been doing this.

 
Mrs.Ferri

Asked by Mrs.Ferri at 3:59 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (182 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • The bottom line here is you just need to step back and allow those feelings to "burn out". You may be rushing into wanting to marry your fiance, subconsciously because you want to prove that you can move on too and that this man you spent two years of your life with isn't the only one who can be happy. know what i mean?

    I'm not saying DON'T get married, i'm just saying if you are conflicted, you need to make absolutely sure for your sake and in fairness to your fiance' that you are marrying him for the right reasons. Make a list of the pros and cons of your current relationship and that of your ex. See if you find any pattern between how he treats you and how your ex did. Note any similarities and see if you are trying to "replace " your ex or if you truly love this guy because he is so much different than your ex. Know what i mean? hard to explain in 2 comments with only 940 characters LOL good luck! :)
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 4:28 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • First of all, please DO NOT type in text language... it's way too hard to read. Second of all, that is YOUR DECISION and one which you must make on your own, not with anyone's help. It sounds like there is wayyyyy toooo much D R A M A in your life and maybe you just aren't ready. IMO if you come on here asking this type of question, then NO you are not ready to make the commitment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • You JUST had a baby. That makes all women crazy and hormonal, give it a few weeks and your hormones with settle down and you will be able to think more clearly.
    Congratulations on your LO.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 4:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • I say don't get married until you are 100% sure, without any doubt that you want to. You don't sound like you're ready.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • First anon, that is very easy to read and I have never owned a cell phone, and only texted very few times. I think you're just being absurd for pointing that out because you are the proper, picky type. If that's how she wants to type, then that's choice.
    There is a chatacter limit on asking questions and maybe she was doing it so she wouldn't run out of space.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • thank u
    Mrs.Ferri

    Answer by Mrs.Ferri at 4:09 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • I felt the sameway up intill i walked down the aile id wait intill oct theres a reason u picked the date
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 4:14 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • my honest opinion: why are you two already engaged? or why not be engaged, but put off the wedding for another year? this doesn't necessarily apply to you specifically, but so many people get married based on how they feel about the person right then. marriage is a lifetime. marriage is extremely hard work. marriage is not something to take lightly. i strongly suggest you really get to know your fiance and he you before getting married. i'm not saying you two don't know eachother, but it takes longer than 8 months. you don't want to end up not liking this person 2 yrs down the road and then getting divorced. marriage is not just a beautiful dress and a wonderful day.
    Michelle451

    Answer by Michelle451 at 4:24 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • First of all....anon :01 don't use a condescending tone to the original poster as this is her post and she is entitled to write how and what she likes. I just answered a thread on another website about you annoying spellcheck/grammar check people(and yes that little red line appeared on my spell check because i didn't put a space between spell and check, but i'll leave it there just to annoy you i think).

    Secondly to answer Mrs. Ferri here, I think your breakup is still too fresh. I think you should contemplate postponing your nuptials until you are completely over your ex. Sure you love your fiance, I don't doubt that one bit, but make sure he isn't "transition guy" and he's the "real deal" before saying I do. You need to heal, which clearly you haven't yet, from your previous relationship. Some people assume it's so easy to "get over him" when in reality its not that simple.(cont)
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 4:24 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Marriage is a scary endevour...it can mean the end of other possibilities in our lives..our paths will be written out before us now...it's an ominous thing to take on even when our hearts belong 100% to our intended husbands...relax...breathe...it's normal!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

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