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My dds first birthday is coming up in a few weeks and i feel like i dont have any part in it!

We're having it at her dads moms house because we live in an apt. and She went out and just bought a bunch of stuff for her party without even asking about oh, a theme or anything...
she is buying the cake didnt even ask just told my SO she is and she picked the theme for it....she bought invitations without asking, she is picking the food, the time and SHE passed out invitations!!! she was mad that i picked the day that i did to have it on, it seems that is the only thing i have been able to choose.

im very irritated, shes doing this all behind my back and my SO is allowing it! this is our first baby and i was so excited to plan it but i feel like i cant! advice???

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Asked by MomNbabyGirl009 at 6:17 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 20 (9,279 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • i'd more than happy to let someone deal with the prep and clean up. you just have to go and enjoy. you could always pick up the phone and tell her how you feel though or cancel it and have it at your place to spite her.

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:59 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • i dont mind her wanting to help out at all! i understand its her grandchild, i just wish she would talk to me first so were on the same track. weve never had a great relationship and im sure shes doing this just to irk me!

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 7:09 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • I completely understand. My mother-in-law oversteps her boundaries as well when it comes to "firsts." I had to put my foot down this past Christmas when the IL mentioned that they were going to take her to see Santa. I was like NO. First of all, she's OUR child and we decide if we want to take her. Second of all, with it being flu season that should ESPECIALLY be our call. Third of all.....hmmmmm, wouldn't we want to be present for that??!! If I would have allowed it, my MIL would have monopolized my daughter's first birthday too, but I wouldn't allow her to plan anything. Your situation sucks.......if it was warm, you could have went to a park. I don't know what to tell you. I can't believe she didn't even ask you what theme you wanted. How aggravating! You are going to have to be a bitch in the future. It looks like it's too late for this party, but from now on, STEP UP AS MOM, otherwise it will never end.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • My MIL is the same way. But only with my SO's daughter. She actually hardly bothers with my son cause she's so wrapped up in her. (Hubby says his mom is "scared" to love my son cause she's afraid I'll get mad. I won't be mad if she loves him like he's her grandson NOT her SON SON!! I'm his Mommy, not her!) My MIL believes that she's my stepdaughter's mother, it really pisses me off and it's kinda sick. But I refused to let her plan any part of my son's 1st birthday. My MIL has been planning my stepdaughter's birthdays for the past few years and they've all tanked, like she's still decorating an hour after all the guests arrive. So this year, I told hubby that I'm taking over the party plans and his mom will get an invitation in the mail like everyone else.

    Stand up for you and your child and don't let your MIL ruin all the good times. Put your foot down. You are her mommy!

    Answer by Born2BAMommy5 at 10:24 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • You definitely need to speak up! If you let her do this now she'll think she can get away with it for everything in the future too. You know they say the 1st bday isn't even really for the child, it's more for the parents... especially mommy! This is an important milestone in your daughter's life... and YOU helped her get there. This is a day for the baby book... from her outfit to the cake to what the invitation looked like! You will look back with regret if you aren't happy with how her first birthday turned out. You need to be blunt & honest w/ your MIL so she gets the point. It's one thing to HELP you with the planning but another thing to just completely take over with everything! I'd say bring your own helium balloons, some special ones that you pick out for your daughter & then bring a new cake. When you talk to your MIL say well you picked out the decorations so we're buying the cake.. end of story!! Good Luck

    Answer by princesspalace at 10:55 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • you should really get her in check now before your child is older because trust me if you dont you will be feeling this way for the rest of your daughters life

    Answer by wubbunny420 at 6:04 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

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