Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

This is kinda a weird question, but anyways here goes! if i do anything for myself i feel as if my kids think thati dont love them! or if i discipline them i think they hate me

 
onefiestymama

Asked by onefiestymama at 6:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • love yourself. one has to love themself before they can love anybody else. if you need clothes buy yourself clothes, food, or get something in the house fixed get it fixed. If there's something you need or has to be done do it. and get it. you don;t really want your kids to see how badly their mom takes care of herself and the house. And maybe you can reward your self something you like to do once a month. And as for disciplining your children deep inside they will appreciate it in the long run. I know at first they wont.all kids are like that. but at least they wont be able to say that you never tried to be a parent to you. gl.:)
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 8:02 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Oh my gaw! you are sooooooo not alone in this! I have neglected my wardrobe because I felt bad having new clothes when my kids also need new stuff, to the point where I only had ONE pair of jeans for a year!!! It took my s/o to MAKE me step up my game and get some new clothes for ME and not feel guilty about it.
    WatermelonNerd

    Answer by WatermelonNerd at 6:29 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Yes it is normal. My kids are 17, 10 and 8 am I still feel that way about buying things. I did not like to discipline because of the very same reason but then I learned if I didn't teach them, well they would not be very good members of our society. It is my job as a mom to teach them right from wrong and if I did not do that, well who would and I sure didn't want monsters running around. LOL :)
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 6:48 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • Why don't you try and look at it in a different way. You neglecting yourself whether it be clothes, food exercise, fun etc.... doesn't make you any better of a mom because you are sacrificing your health and well being. Would you rather take time for yourself or leave your kids without a mom becasue God forbid something happens to you and you get sick or worse die. And don't you want to be a role model for your kids and show them you have passions and interests too?
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 7:08 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • You sound really insecure. Your their mother, they aren't supposed to like you all the time! And I guarentee someday they will appreciate the discipline you gave them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • If you discipline them they do hate you - they think you don't love them and don't understand.

    Try readining Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves or visiting naomialdort.com
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • I second the vote for Naomi Aldort. And perhaps a therapist to help you with your self esteem issues.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:23 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Do you understand that by taking this attitude you are actually teaching your children to be selfish people? They need to learn that life is not all about them and what they want or think they need. They need to know that Mom has some needs, too, and that it is her responsibility to discipline them. Of course, they don't like to be corrected, and they will do or say anything to keep it from happening, even if that means putting a big old guilt trip on you. They need to learn that they have to share, even with their mother, and that means that sometimes she gets something and they don't. You would only be selfish if you were getting something for yourself and you had a child who needed a pair of shoes so badly that he didn't have any that fit him. Priority is key. If you need to, make a list of who needs what and then number them as to what is the most pressing need. Be sure to always include yourself on the list.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:34 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I feel the same why about doing something for myself; not so much towards disciplining though. I feel guilty if I ask SO to watch our son for a bit while i paint my nails or watch a tv show i've been trying to catch up on. I feel like they think I'm a lazy person. I hate it. I know they don't feel that way, but it's just the way i thinkk. blah. lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Mom guilt is perfectly normal i think i mean i cant even buy a coke without thinking well i better get one for everyone else
    wubbunny420

    Answer by wubbunny420 at 6:00 PM on Feb. 1, 2010