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how to deal with mil

I feel like every time i go over there or she watches the baby she has something negative to say about my parenting like she keeps pushing to put the baby on her stomach dd is only 9 weeks old i want to keep her on her back but every time she says something like the baby's head is getting flat witch it is not the case or that the reason she spits up is b/c i feed her to much even though my dd spits up on her all the time. but she has this way of saying it so it sounds nice but it really hurts my feelings. and today i left my dd with her for a little while and she left her with his sister witch is fine with me but i would have at least liked a phone call to let me know any way i guess my question is how do i get her to take me seriously with out sounding like a
female dog ? sorry this is so long just had to get it out .

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Asked by sashasmom159 at 11:41 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (93 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Try thanking her for her suggestions but you need your baby (emphasize MY baby) on a schedule that works for the TWO of us since I'm (you mommy) is her mother. Your suggestions are great but I have a lot of confidence in my baby's doctor. Like you wanted your children's schedules and care to be a certain way, I now need that for my baby.

    Answer by lfl at 11:46 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • You smile and just say, thank you for your opinion. Next time I talk to my pediatrician I'll ask him/her about it.

    Then, if she keeps on, you tell her - not when this is happening, and not when you're upset - that you love her and respect her very much, and you know that she loves you guys, and that she loves her granddaughter, and you're so grateful that your daughter has so much love in her life. But, mom to mom, you're sure she understands that you need to be the one to make the choices about your baby, and that so much advice, even though it's meant well, undermines that. Then stress that you don't want her to think that you don't value her opinion, because she will be the first person you ask if you have any questions (even if she isn't...), but, as ___'s mother, you need to be the one to make these decisions, and you need people to respect that.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:04 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • She sounds like she is just trying to help.

    I agree, MY DOCTOR SAID ".....????"


    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:21 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • It's just her opinion. I would say Thanks for your advice I still am going to do it this way though. That way you're acknowledging it. If there is a pattern of her always saying negative things then you do need to sit her down and tell her that you don't mind getting occasional advice but all the time is not something you need. I know sometimes parents may think they know best but it's not their time to raise kids and they should respect you as the parent of the child.


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 4:06 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

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