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Has your partner cheated sexually or emotionally? Did it break you up? Did he cheat often before you found out or back to cheating after you found out?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Jan. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • No he isn't a skanky whore either!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Jan. 31, 2010

  • dang forgot to put that into the post, thanks for adding it!!!! your post tells more about you than you think. better iife for you friend.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:06 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Early on my dh had an emotional affair with an ex. It would have been physical but they lived too far apart. She ended up stalking us for yrs after it was over. Yes, I know it was over, and yes, she stalked us. My dh felt horrible about it, it was a mistake. It hurt a LOT, but we both learned from it and grew from it, and learned how we could make our marriage and ourselves better and stronger. There were a lot of contributing factors, though none of them was excused what he did.

    That was over 15 yrs ago, and we have a wonderful, great, strong marriage, and we both trust each other 100%. It was the only time that we ever had anything like this happen in our marriage.

    If you are in this situation then I'm sorry. Talk to a counselor and get tested for disease if it was physical. Don't rush into any choices, give yourself time to decide.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • thank you anon1124 for sharing what happened to you and your advice. It's very helpful.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:45 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • No he has never cheated, it would end our marriage and he knows it. We both had previous relationships where the other person cheated and we never want to put the other through that. We have always agreed that if ever we hit that point we would walk away before it happened.

    15 years later I am pretty sure he would still walk away before hurting me, our friendship means too much to both of us to ruin it like that. Maybe being friends before being a couple is what makes us different IDK.

    In his words " I am not stupid enough to risk my family over something like that, I love my wife and dont need anyone else...besides my wife would kick my a$$ and trash my truck, i'd lose my kids, and I would pay for that one giant mistake. My wife understands payback and how to deal it out...so not worth it"

    I had to giggle when he said that I am a nasty women if you cross me he is right about that just ask my ex lol.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:07 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • you know 3_ring_circus you said it right. about being friends - that's where my husband and I went wrong. We were lovers without first loving each other. Fortunately I taught our kids long and hard the importance of a caring, compassionate friendship before sex. My kids are two adults and 1 highschooler. My oldest had a very rocky first love based totally on sex. It was hard to sit back and watch him rock through it all. Finally he saw himself without any bad words from me that they were wrong for each other. Now for several years he's with a woman who loves him not what he does in a certain area. I'm so grateful that he now knows that his former relationship was in fact based wrong. He understands why his dad and I'd been so rocky ourselves. It's hard to become best friends when a relationship was never never that. We're working on it though the right way now but it's still hard. Thank you for your time.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 2:45 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I've had many guys cheat on me. (That says something about the type of men I pick, I already know that lol) My current SO and I were once married many, many years ago and he cheated on me. It was first emotional and then got a little physical (kissing but no sex) and well...I walked away from the marriage. It has to be both partners willing to work on the issues in the marriage if something like that happens and they decide that they want to stay together. Counseling would be the best route if there is to be a reconcilliation. If you just can't accept it then it's best to walk away. Or if the guy isn't willing to help you in any way possible then it's best to walk away. An affair is different for every couple. Every couple has to deal with it in their own way. I've heard of those who have gone through affairs and have come out stronger, those who have walked away and never looked back, and then there's me...returning
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 2:34 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • after 10 years. The ranges for how people deal with an affair, whether it be emotional or physical, is so large that one answer doesn't fit everyone.
    I found out about his affair when we were still married. Was it often? Yeah, probably. I've been through a lot of relationships like that, usually finding out before we break up...but, I walk away. My heart isn't worth the pain that it would have to carry throughout the whole forgiving process.
    Good luck!
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 2:36 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

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