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Please tell me if I am making a mountain out of a mole hill

My ex has supervised visitation every other weekend. My 6 yr old dd said that she has to sleep in the bed with my ex because she doesnt have a room or a bed of her own.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Feb. 1, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • Why can't he sleep on the couch and let DD have the bed to herself? But I think if he has supervised vistation he shouldn't be sharing a bed with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Who is supervising the visit?
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:09 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • OP his mom
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • are you against cosleeping?? some people would see that as a good thing. are you afraid she will be molested.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:12 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • If your are uncomfortable with the arrangement then you are not making a mountain out of a mole hill. If I were you I would go and buy her one of those inflatable beds and whenever she goes over there take it or leave it with him.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:26 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • When we got our divorce they said that she would have to have her own bed provided for her at my home and his home for visits. She came back late and completely exhausted last night because she was sleeping with her step cousin and ex came and got her and she said she couldnt sleep with him so she got back up and got back in the bed with step cousin. She is taken 4 hours away every other weekend for visits at me ex's moms house. Its really just a mess.
    OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • sounds like co-sleeping . but if you are very concerned, gently offer to provide a bad for her to be in his room so she has her own place to sleep.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:47 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Is the step cousin a boy or girl and how old? Go back to your lawyer and tell him. Then the two of you can make a decision. Because your child is a girl I think it's wrong for her to routinely sleep in her frequent visits to his home with her dad in his bed considering her age. Molestation just happens the fact that your worried or not worried doesn't matter. Her cosleeping with her dad is wrong him being an ex especially for straight thru the night sleeping, not just night hugs before sleep in a different bed.

    If the step cousin is a girl that's okay I feel. If the step cousin is a boy older than she, that too is wrong because of potential molestation. If the step cousin is a boy younger than she for a while longer I think it's ok it's like her being a big sister to a little brother.

    Your ex making your daughter change beds to his bed in addition to him refusing to sleep on the sofa puts up my warning lights so to speak.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 9:54 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • If she is supposed to have her own bed, and clearly doesn't, I'd get upset and not let her visit until that is fixed. I am all for co-sleeping, but not at the age of 6, especially if she doesn't get to actually sleep. Poor kid.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:24 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Is it you who is uncomfortable with this, or your DD? If DD does not mind sharing a bed with dad, then I would not make a big deal of it. If DD is uncomfortable with the situation, then she shouldn't have to sleep with her dad. As a PP pointed out, he could sleep on the couch, or on a yoga mat on the floor, or find some other kind of sleeping situation for himself on her visits if that is truly the only bed in the house for her to sleep in on visits.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:48 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

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