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Question about faith and family~hurt feelings~(no bashing please)

This may end up being a bit long, so i'll cont. below if i must. My dh and I are joining a church. It is the faith his family observed,it's a part of who he is and his family on both sides. We had always wanted to bring our family up in this faith but we had a really rocky start because we lost a baby and it threw our faith in God all together. My family is not very faithful(at all) my mother is an athiest. My family is not of this faith but some of them do go to church but just not ours. I called them to ask if they would come join us for our children to be baptised but they were really not with it,if youKWIM? I feel a lot of resistance from my mother. She has recently become an athiest-I was almost suprised when it surfaced in our conversations. I am really sad,I have no one to ask to be my ds's god parent. Should I just stop crying for us over this????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Feb. 1, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (13)
  • You have the right to whatever religion you wanna be hence the whole freedom of religion...Don't worry about what your mom or family will think about you they will either come to accept it or they won't if you feel like its right and it's good for you and your immediate family then do it I wouldn't worry so much about how your mom feels or your side of the family for that matter if it helps not to tell them then don't there are some things in life you have to keep to yourself especially if it will keep the peace you are an adult you don't have to get anyones opinion on anything you do what you think is best don't do what 's best for others hope all turns out okay :)

    Answer by chica679 at 11:09 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Well there isn't anything you can do about it. I do agree that your mom should be there in support of you, regardless of her belief. Whatever the case may be, do NOT let this occasion be brought down for you. This is a happy occasion for you and hubby and try to enjoy it sweets

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:10 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I have been called am atheist and this situation irks me because although I do not have a faith or religion, I would always support my children in what they choose to believe. Being an atheist is not an excuse to be selfish and uncaring about how your children feel...

    Answer by writeon at 11:19 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I have been an atheist for nearly 20 years. I have attended a wedding, three dedications and three funerals inside assorted churches since I lost my beliefs. A church is just a building to me, like a WalMart store or a restaurant. A baptism is just a ritual that happens to take place inside this particular building--altho I DO consider it to be inappropriate for an infant who is too young to make such a decision. Try to understand that even tho this rite means something to you and your dh and his family, it means nothing to your atheist mother or your family members. It is pointless to baptise a child who may grow up to be a gay atheist pagan. That's how we feel. Do as you wish for yourself and the family you intend to raise. You cannot control the actions--or feelings-of anyone else. Stop crying and get on with it.

    Answer by witchqueen at 11:20 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • It is yours and your dh's choice as to how you wish to believe/worship and where.
    I am a practicing Wiccan and both of my dd's are Christians (well we are not to sure of one)
    I support them in their beliefs and they think mine is fascinating.. LOL...
    I am sorry that your mother does not wish to support your choice, but do not allow it to spoil
    your child's special day...
    Ask your mother one more time if you like, then leave it alone, it is her loss ...


    Answer by gmasboy at 11:59 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • You are adult and this is a very personal decision that you and your husband must make for yourselves. I sorry your family isn't supportive but understand that people often have such strong beliefs of their own its often difficult to support others, this is not your problem its theirs. Invite them if they choose not to be part of it then okay. They may soften with time its really up to them.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 12:09 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • May I ask what religion or denomination your are speaking of?

    Everything I say is from the mouth of a Catholic and I speak only of my own experience and faith. My DH's pentecostal mother came to our Catholic wedding. Every picture has a look of pain, as if God was going to strike her with a lighting bolt just for having the nerve to walk into the evil church in which represents the whore of Babylon. {what ever followed by a lot of eye rolls}
    She mysteriously had something to do with every baptisim, first communion and confirmation. When my husband converted she couldn't make it to the Rite of Election or the Rite of calling, however, she finally gave in and made it to the actual conversion on Holy Saturday. She refused to kneel and I think was ready to stand up and proclaim against the horrific idea of eating the Flesh, but she bit her tongue. Literally, there might have been blood.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • (cont from above)She stayed for the entire Mass and participated in the Lord's prayers and the songs she knew. When DH was being confirmed she wasn't interested and when I explained a few things she gave a very long ooooo

    I think by now she has decided to accept the fact her son has found a church he is comfortable with and at least her grand kids will learn about God. I doubt she will be at the 1st Communion for her grand daughter this year but she will be invited and there is nothing I can do to make her accept the Church or the teachings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • You have to choose to let it go or it can cause more problems than it is worth. I do not believe a child should be baptised that young but it is your choice, yet the child has a choice too. That is just my belief.
    I went to my brother's baptisms and and communion thing but I was not raised catholic because I was the step child and yeah. I honestly am glad i wasn't. I will go to these things and your mother should too but it is her choice, she is the one missing out on milestones with her grandchild. You just keep on walking forward. :-)

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 12:56 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • anon:43 posting again.

    My son dropped his wallet in the bathtub and I hit answer question too soon. Let me clarify a few of those things. She mysteriously had something to do like chili lunches, or mandatory overtime at 5pm Saturday night. Once we asked her at the last minute after she told us she nothing to do, that night she called with the last minute overtime conflict. I think there was blood. Of course there was the Blood of Christ, I mean she bit her lip so hard I think she drew blood. When I looked at her on my way back from communion she was chomping down on her lip.

    she found a way to sit through the entire wedding ceremony but , spending the evening with a bunch of Catholics was way too much to ask her. She left a card with a 20 in it at the church and we didn't so much as get a phone call to say congrats and the card was signed "from" mom and dad. No wonder DH wanted nothing to do with her church

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

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