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Just in Case You Get a Check...



Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:
---------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. >From taxpayers..
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

Answer Question
 
gammie

Asked by gammie at 11:10 AM on Feb. 1, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Level 26 (28,613 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • 1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China.
    2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia.
    3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
    4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.
    5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
    6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
    7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.



    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:11 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Or, you can keep the money in America by:
    1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
    2. going to baseball or football games, or
    3. hiring prostitutes, or
    4. buying cheap beer or
    5. getting tattoos.
    These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the US.
    Conclusion:
    The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:11 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • eye rolling

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • laughing

    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 11:14 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Do I have to go to a ball game with a hooker? Can I go to a NASCAR race with a some redneck friends? The beer is no problem. My redneck friends can get the tattoo.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 11:20 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I'm with Jesse!
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 11:25 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Another stimulus??? UGH! Dear Govt... Please stop handing out money that looks free, but ends up costing me more in the end when I have to pay it back.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 11:25 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • LMBO
    tnmomofive

    Answer by tnmomofive at 11:34 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Do I have to go to a ball game with a hooker?

    Will a male escort do? Hookers (of the female variety) don't do much for me... ROTFL
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 11:40 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I love it..the joking part...not the getting a check part! How about if they just don't tax me so much to begin with! We can cut out that whole middleman thing.

    Now about the whole ball game and hooker thing...If I do the ball game I have to take my little boys..sort of ruins the male escort thing. Would it be okay if I just hired some male strippers..I'll check their ID to make sure they are citizens and invite my friends over for a party. I'll even invite Sam Adams, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam...would like to invite Jose Cuervo but can't...how about Captain Morgan? Can he come??
    yourspecialkid

    Answer by yourspecialkid at 12:00 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

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