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writing letters for the Hubby-

I've got a lot of guy friends-most since childhood. Often once they get girlfriends or wives, I'll end up getting letters suddenly spelling words correctly that he's misspelled for years, or Vice Versa. using phrases or saying things that he would never say- such as trying to tell me he doesn't want to see me anymore.
Every time I talk to the Guy pal he's shocked and then handles it. Usually resulting in a mad busted GF or wife. Every one that tried this always thinks she was the first to come up with the idea-
anyone else ever run into this?
and no, I'm not coming on to my guy pal-trust me!


Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Feb. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • No, none of them have insulted my intelligence by pulling that nonsense. I did have one female email me from her email account telling me to leave her man alone. I had no clue who he was until she wrote about 3 emails! Then I had to laugh. He's from my high school 4 states away and we graduated 40 yr ago! Like I'm a threat to her. Turns out she stole him from his wife and I guess she thought since he had emails from me (about reunion stuff) that I wanted him. Why would I want the cheating dog? I wished her well and told her I'd see her at the next I can laughat her for getting stuck with him! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:01 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I find that to be incredibly immature. If they are so bothered by him being friends with you, then they should be woman enough to simply tell him and ask him to give up the friendship. Personally, I would never disrespect my SO by going behind his back like that. If he had a female friend that I truly felt that uncomfortable with him being friends with, I'd just tell him and ask him to give her up. If he didn't, then I would decide from there how to take that and if I could live with it. I have never understood why women can't just act like women and talk to their partner instead of acting like little girls and playing high school games.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:20 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • OP- thanks AWomansMInd- I do agree with most of that. it's just a hard position to be in. Truthfully, there was a reason why I'd never dated these guys- I hate to sound crass, but as far as speaking to the women, I didn't because in truth I knew that they would most likely be gone in a few months max, so I usually just ignored it. Kind of hard to go to a woman about a letter she wrote when I was supposed to think it was from her boyfriend!
    as far as 'having her man cut off communication'- all to often she did tell him to do that and he just contacted me anyway behind her back, then she'd make me out to be a stalker when she realized I was contacting him!
    I always laugh when I hear of women wondering why would a woman keep hounding a man when he doesn't want to talk to her?
    Most likely it's because she's returning him message!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Well if your guy friend was untrustworthy then his new gf/wife is trying to put a distance between temptation and her man. It's not really about you but about her trying to keep her man to herself and keep him from dogging someone else. The fact is that if you are receiving these letters then these women are uncomfortable with you being friends with their man. Maybe you could talk to the gf/wife or at least ask your friend not to get all pissy with their new gf/wife. The fact is that these women are trying to keep their relationships in tact and they see you (and probably all his other female friends) as a threat. I would have to say that the woman is going about it the wrong way, she should be having her man write and cut off communication if she feels that strongly about it. So, it's not's the other woman just trying to save her relationship and going about it in the WRONG way. Good luck!

    Answer by AWomansMind at 2:46 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Ati 13: I admit in some cases the guy was untrustworthy, just not with me! so I couldn't blame the gal for being jealous, but it put me in a tough spot. Loyalty is a hard thing- and my loyalty was to my pal, so I wasn't going to rat him out. It was just hard to get the harassment from the woman and feel like I couldn't say anything. who's to say she would have believed me anyway?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I never have, but that is totally ridiculous! If you can't trust your man with a friend who happens to be female, you are INSECURE, or he's UNTRUSTWORTHY.


    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:18 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I have gotten that before. I don't know why women do that. Jealousy is a terrible diseasethat's for sure. Of course, there has been times that my DH has called me, and asked me to check his email. I read emails to him and he asks me to respond for him, but I always let them know I am the one typing it for him, because he is at work. One of them being his old friend from High School, (that has admitted to me that she was in love with him back then) that I really can't stand because every time we see her, she gives me an attitude like she is jealous. Still, I don't bash her, or tell her anything from him that he has not said. Even though she would probably deserve it, it's not my place to do it,


    Answer by Punky_1981 at 2:18 PM on Feb. 1, 2010