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Deployed Soldier and his cheating wife :(

My friends husband has been deployed for close to 2 months now. I had suspicions that she was cheating on him from the weird texts she would send me "you cant come over cuz I'm doing something personal right now." She would talk about her old guy friend and how she was hanging out with him.
Tonight my husband went to her house to pick up our kitty carrier. He watched a guy go in her front door then he listened to them talk on the other side. She took a few minutes to answer the door after he knocked then rushed him out of the house. As my husband was getting into the car he saw the guy peeking out of the curtains. ):
Now here is the problem...The poor guy just got married and is deployed in Afghanistan. We cant tell him while he is there, he would do something terrible. Granted he is going to do something stupid when he finds out any ways. He is head over heals for this woman. :(

Answer Question

Asked by lblanenship3 at 4:22 PM on Feb. 1, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • my advice, don't meddle in other people's marriages, it never ends well

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 4:23 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • While I think it's horrible I agree with previous poster about staying out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Their marriage is none of your business. Even when he comes back. Telling might back fire on you.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:28 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I'd tend to agree that it isn't your place to tell him. I'd be pressing the friend to end it with her other "guy friend" and come clean with her dh when he gets home. Cheating is NOT ok.

    My cousin was head over heals for a girl and got married while he was home on leave from the Army. Then while he was stationed in Korea, she had a baby with another guy. Needless to say, they are divorced now. He was crushed for a while, but is now years later he is married to an awesome girl and finally happy again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • well, more than likely the FRG will find out about this, and word will get around to him, and if he does act like you say he will, they will put him on suicide watch (for what is beyond me), and then send him home to deal with the family problems.

    if it makes sense the army just doesn't do it. i had an (x) friend who was having an affair 2months after her dh left with her neighbors husband, who had JUST gotten back from a year and a half deployment. FRG found out, unit put him on suicide watch cuz he threatened to kill her and then himself, so what did they do? sent him home to deal with his family matters. don't know how they're doing though, as i said she's now an x friend. i do, however know that she got preggo with this other guy.

    maybe just talk to her or something, either that or leave it alone. it will all play out in the end.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Um. ...If my husband was cheating on me i'd want someone to tell me. What about you? If you were being cheated on would you want to know? What if you found out that someone knew but was keeping it a secret? That's JMO of course.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:37 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I live near an Air Force base and it's shameful to see it but it happens constantly. I live in a complex full of married military families. Every time a guy is deployed the wife slides a new guy in until he comes home. It makes me sick but it's such an every day thing here that there isn't much a person can do but stay away from them so the guy doesn't find out and think you are a part of the secret.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Well... this is a sticky subject. On the one hand I think he deserves to know when he gets back but on the other hand, who knows what their marriage/relationship is really like behind closed doors. Probably stick to your own business, if hes a friend of yours or your husbands and HE brings it up, tell him what you know but otherwise stay out of it.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 4:39 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I think I'd leave it alone unless you are asked. at least for now. I wouldn't tell him when he's over there, he's got enough on his mind. If he gets back and something like divorce starts, then you may want to tell him what you know- but even then, it's not a simple thing to decide.
    I hope it all goes well-

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:41 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • he'll find out sooner or later. they always do.

    Answer by bmdred at 5:56 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

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