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serious custody question

My sd was here over the weekend. She told my dh that er friend a little boy around her age has been touching her inappropriately for some time. Now we are going through a custody battle. We have called cps many times due to bruises on my sd which she said came from bm. We did not inform cps of this incident because we do not have a good relationship at the moment with them. My sd doe go to a therapist and my dh is taking and told her to her what she told us about her friend. T make this worse my dh had complained to the bm about my sds relationship with the little boy. he found out that they were sleeping together with just underwear on at the age of six and was very bothered. All his complaints were ignored. Now that his daughter has told him this does it effect our custody case? I mean this happened at the bms house, my dh did make a complaint. Does this make her accountable or just the child for doing it? Im not sure.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Feb. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Report it to the police. Seriously.
    IamPatSajak

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 4:28 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I don't think I'd report it to the police. Some sexual exploration is natural at this age and the boy is not necessarily doing anything wrong here. Someone does need to inform his parents though so they can talk to him about why it's not appropriate behavior for children.

    I am not sure if this will count in your custody case. So much of it depends on the judge. I don't think you would be hurting your case at all to bring this up. Document the conversations (SD with her dad, and dad's with BM) so you have a clear time line.

    I would not wait until court to make sure that mom knows this is happening so that she can take steps to prevent it.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 4:32 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Report it- to the bm, to cps, to the police, whoever, but report it. For one, your SD needs to know that if she comes to you with a problem that you will help her with it. For two, if you don't report it than you are complicit in the continuation. Whether you have a bad relationship with the mother or cps is irrelevant, this issue needs to be looked into immediately. Speak up for your SD right away!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:57 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I'm fairly sure that the mom can be held accountable. Are you working with a lawyer? I think you should look into getting an emergency custody change order, or an emergency restraining type order that bans the mother from having the other kid around your SD.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • document and report. it might help you, if it can be found that the bm is contributing to an unsafe environment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • REPORT IT!!!! I was molested as when I was 4 or 5 by my cousin who is only a year or two older than me! My family found out and we were kept apart for sometime, but eventually started being around one another at family gatherings again (i don't remember the age), but he did start molesting me again. It lasted sometime before i was 12 to when i finally stopped it when i was 16. I didn't tell my mother until a year or more after the last incident.

    This is a huge deal. It has seriously affected my ability to make friends, have healthy relationships, etc. Now, I still have trouble knowing what is normal child behavior and what are signs of abuse. I don't want my children to have to go through this. I mean I am okay and I am a strong person. I have made it and am overall happy. However, I have had many ups and downs.

    Please do everything you can to help your SD. It makes me sad to hear when others go through this
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:25 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

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