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I dont know how much more of this I can take.

I have made several post about my 17 year old being pregnant.
This is putting so much stress on my family. I dont know how to stop all the drama. She is trying to be independent but how can she be independed when she is so childish. I think I need to go to counseling. I cant take this anymore. I never would have thought that a teen pregnancy effects the parents of the teen so much.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Feb. 1, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • if you are losing yourself, then there is no harm in asking for some help and guidance. It might be beneficial for your daughter as well.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 11:26 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I encourage you to get counselling and to have her go with you. If she refuses, I would tell her she is on her own with situation and that I won't be helping her since she won't help me. GL mama...I can't imagine that stress.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:31 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I would say that you need counseling. You are freaking out because she is starting to take matters into her own hands. She's making adult decisions. She'll do a lot of growing up and maturing during the process and you need to be there to support her. Don't hold her back. She may be 17 and pregnant, but she sounds like she is trying to get through this more grown up and adult.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I was a pregnant teen just 6 months after my younger sister was killed in a car wreck. My mom was already going to counseling for the loss of my sister. She didn't try to mommy me but she waited for me to come to her. My mom couldn't do what only God can do. Today we are best friends and I am raising four girls of my own. I went to college and just moved into a house I had built.

    ann789

    Answer by ann789 at 9:58 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • My dd was 14 and pregnant. The rest of the family turned on her. Then the baby needed surgery and all the financial burden (and emotional burden) was dumped on me so I hear ya. There were three other grandparents but did they step up to the plate? Nope. I was the mom of the minor mother so I got stuck with it all. Just remember that she's young and she's hormonal and it will all be over soon, hopefully. Then again if she's going to live with you when the baby is born, get ready for a whole new adventure. I wanted to give up many times but it turned out that wasn't an option! lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:51 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Listen, it happened. She's pregnant, it's done. There's nothing that can be done to change that now. Yes, she made a stupid choice and she will have to live with that choice for the rest of her life. Muddling in the dissapointment and anger of it will not solve anything at all. Infact, it may push her away. Right now you need to come together as a family and be supportive even if you dont' agree with her choice. HELP her be independent. Help her get an after school/weekend job and help her set up a bank account to save money. Set up new bounderies, new rules, etc for her to live by. Like she has a new curfew, she MUST get good grades, keep a job, save money, and she is going to go to all of the birthing and child raising classes, etc.

    Yes, she IS still a child and it is unimaginable what she has gotten herself into, but it's already done. It's happened, so accept it, move on, and help her to transfer into being an adult.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:00 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • One thing you should NOT do is take over for her. Do not try and handle this situation for her. She chose to make an adult choice and now has adult consequences to deal with. Again, yes she is a child still, but she has a lot of growing up to do in nine months. Help her do that, but dont' do it all for her. Show her the resources and what is now expected of her, but don't do it for her. You may not agree with her choice, you may still be dissapointed, but give her a chance. Allow her to be an adult and a great mother to her child by helping her and supporting her. She's your baby, and now she's going to have a baby of her own. She needs you right now.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:05 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • There is so much counseling and intervention out there for both her and your family. I suggest you look into getting some help. If she is being immature, the more intervention the better.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:23 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • i had my 1st child at 16. My mother basically tolk me that I was on my own. I supported myself and my child. The father stepped up and we did get married,which was a mistake. but we had a 2nd child 4 yrs later. The marriage lasted for 6 yrs. Then I really had to grow up. I went back to school and got my nursing degree and have never looked back! Give your daughter some credit. If she did not get pregnant on purpose then she needs a supportive ear. BUT DO NOT SUPPORT HER. she will learn nothing!
    My daughter is now almost 18 and constantly brags that she has a better head on her shoulders than I did at her age. I think she's right!!!!
    LeeLeeLovesLost

    Answer by LeeLeeLovesLost at 7:09 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

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