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A Question about Transitioning from Home to Kindergarden

So my stepson is 5 years old and will be starting kindergarden in the fall. I don't think he's going to be ready, socially.

He's spent most of his life wrapped up in the world of his father, mother, sister, older brother now deceased, and various family members.

He has NO IDEA what structure means. at all. his days consist of playing with his toys, watching movies and various other things like reading, bathtime, eating. But he basically does what he wants when he wants. He also has a bad time with showing his emotions and can lash out.

I tried to explain to my fiance that he needs to start really considering trying to get M into some kinda preschool else come school time he's going to have a horrible time adjusting to a very strict schedual and being away from home for 5-6 hrs at a time. my fiance tells me that there isn't anyting to worry about..he'll be fine. but idk.

What would u moms do? I know he isnt mine

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Asked by SweetPoison at 11:42 PM on Feb. 1, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 17 (3,609 Credits)
Answers (9)

    and I know I don't have much say..and thats fine. But I am just trying to help .His Bio mom has no real position in his life.

    Did any of u moms have the same mproblem? DId any SAHM that had thier kids 24/7 before kindergarden how did u deal with them going from being with u to school?

    I am just lookin for advice and such. thanks!

    Answer by SweetPoison at 11:43 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • i agree with you, i am already thinking of what i will do with my 2 yr old, his day is the same, not really structured too much, just toys, books, tv, mommy! he doesnt like strangers at all, he may wave sometimes, but he will run when they talk to him. no one in the family is able to babysit bc he cries the entire time. so i will def. try to get him into headstart or daycare very soon, bc he is going to be a problem child lol. my first was in daycare at 8 weeks so i could go back to school, and she has loved everything about it. she adjusted very well from a daycare, to pre-k- to K never a tear, just smiles and giggles! it is good for them to get out and meet new ppl and get over that fear of being away from mom and dad!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 11:48 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • i would try socializing him as much as you can with family children and friend's kids. if you dont know many, try the library. there are story times and activities that are free at our library. this is a way to introduce structure and other kids. also you could try to structure his day more at home. do more educational things. set a routine. he needs to learn that lashing out is unacceptable. do what you can to teach him how he will be expected to behave in a school environment. make it exciting that he will be going. and make it a big deal to be a big boy and behave like a big boy. there are pre-k books at wal mart and other book stores taht you can get for worksheets and things. plus i am sure there are things online you can find for ideas of activities.

    good luck. its hard trying to do what is best when you are a SM.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:07 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • He "spent most of his life wrapped up his father, mother, sister and older brother (now deceased)." From the sounds of it, this little guy has had three major changes in his life recently. His family is no longer together, his brother is deceased, and now there is a new woman trying to be an authority in his life. I think I'd lash out too!

    He's 5! He does not need to be thrown into a foreign preschool environment right now. He needs to know his family still loves him -- like his mother, father and sister. He needs reassurance. As the previous poster said, he can go to story times at the library, classes at the zoo, sports or other classes to help him be a part of a group while not being sent away all day. The academics are taken care of easily through teachable daily moments and reading.

    Kindergarten used to be prep for 1st grade. Now, pre-K is prep for kindergarten. It's a little ridiculous. Don't send him away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I agree iwth anon :41! He is 5 years old!!! What do you expect him to do? Get ready to the big big world? Geez! He should be at home playing and being where he feels loved and comfortable.

    I am so glad I homeschool! and go ahead, bash away, yep, I shelter my kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • My son never went to preschool. He spent most of the first 6 years of his life just hanging out at home (he took one class at the park when he was 3 1/2 for a month). We don't do schedules so other then going to bed at a regular time and having lunch/dinner at around the same time every day he just did what he wanted and played with his toys and sisters and watched TV.
    He started kindergarten a month before he turned 6 and didn't even think twice about it. He LOVED kindergarten. He's in 2nd grade now and getting straight As (for the most part he got a B+ this last quarter in reading)
    My middle daughter only went to preschool for a few months (after she was 5) to get her ready to be away from me because she was so clingy. She did cry the whole first day of preschool (which was just 1 1/2 hours long and twice a week) and did fine after that. She's in 1st now and I haven't had any problems with her since that day.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 8:14 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Just because he doesn't do well now with strangers, doesn't mean he won't do well in kindergarten. My 6 year old was in preschool for 2 years, went to K this year and still is shy when it comes to strangers but he does really well in K despite his speech delay.

    I know you are worried about him, but I think he'll be fine. Do as others have said and get him out and about with you as much as you can.
    Cafe Jenn

    Answer by Cafe Jenn at 9:06 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • If you think his not being in a structured class is a huge deal suggest his parents enroll him in some (short!) summer activities. Vacation Bible Schools, a community art or sports class that meets once a week or something, and as someone else mentioned, weekly library storytimes or events (ours has summer events for kids.) These are events that can be structured and get him into the whole sitting with kids and being quiet and following directions thing, and for everything except VBS, are things mom and dad can be right there with him, kind of off to the sides if need be.

    I really don't think it's anything to worry about. Ours never went to preschool, we did as I mentioned above, and he was fine in K.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • All the suggestions are helpful. I know he's 5..and I know he should just be playing and hanging out with his parents..and I'm not trying to be an authoritive figure in his life. I am just trying to help give suggestions to his father about helping him transition becuause of all the things that have happened..and the way K is today! But as u've said we're looking to get the kids out and about in this small town..the library is great Idea. Thanks so much everyone!

    Answer by SweetPoison at 8:20 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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