Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Will I get over this?

My relationship with my boyfriend is currently in a stage that I refer to as the doldrums. There is no passion, no communication outside of the mundane, and I feel completely disconnected to him. I don't want to blame my problems on him, however there are a number of things about him that DO bother me a great deal. The first that comes to mind is the fact that he is still married to his astranged wife. I have asked him several times to try and put money aside to get a divorce, but my pleas have since been left unanswered. I also know that he never wants to be married again which hurts me because I might have wanted that for myself someday. On top of everything else, my daughter beileves that this man and his family are her own and hasn't known anything else. I want to end the relationship, but I am uncertian of how to proceed with out hurting everyone involved in this tangled web I've weaved for myself.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It will be healthier to just let it go. Sit down with your little girl and let her know what is going to happen. She will be confused with it all of course but thats were you come in and reassure her that everything will be alright. Much luck to you!

    Answer by Cnoriega85 at 1:06 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • HONEY, reality check. he doesnt WANT the divorce. I am not saying he does not care about you and your child. I am sure he does. but he is COMMITTED to HER. not you. what do YOU want out of life? if this relationship has THIS much going against it already? how long do you want to waste on it? you have a child to consider who derserves you having someone in your life who can MAKE that HONEST committment to you both.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:06 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Aww, it will be ok. And your DD will be ok. Sure she may be a little confused at first but just be strong for her and for yourself. Honey, if you are not happy then it is time to be happy. Everything will work out.

    Answer by pnwmom at 1:11 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • If he gets the divorce, it opens the divorce to you for a discussion about marriage with you and him. He does not want that.

    I would seriously leave and get out before even more feelings get hurt.

    Answer by Itsonono at 1:14 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I would end it as soon as possible... talk to his family first and maybe they'll be able to work something out so that they are still in her life but you don't need a man like that and it will only be worse the longer you stay with him

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 1:28 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • speaking from the WIFE of a husband that cheated, the lil girl that THOUGHT she had him to herself...he doesn't want the divorce b/c he doesn't want to let her go. The reason he's prob even still with you is because the wife will not take him back right now, but believe me, he is trying to win her back behind your back. She is not so much "estranged" and you want to think. You will never be his wife. You will never be 1st in his heart b/c she is there. the reason he doesn't want to get married is because he doesn't love you the same. I'm not trying to be rude, but these are facts. Get out while you can and find someone who will put you first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.