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How do you get over it?

I had a heart to heart with my husband about some issues i've been having. and he broke down and told me that he kissed another woman. I'm extrememly hurt. I have always trusted him but that trust is gone. as i told him it's going to take time and a lot of it. I know i will never forget but how do i get past this. I know he is sorry and i love him. But i'm having a really hard time with this. my heart aches!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 AM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • baby steps. its gonna be a process of healing. maybe you two should consider marriage counceling to help get to the root of the isssues. infidelity is merely a symptom of bigger things.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 2:38 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I'm sorry for what you're going through, and I know it hurts, but only time and some self discipline can make you feel better. Seff discipline as in when you and your husband are arguing you throw it up in his face all the time, or just do it because it's on your mind. Also communication. It's important for him to listen to you when you're feeling down.
    The good thing is, he confessed this to you which means he felt guilty, and wanted to be honest with you about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I agree you need counseling because it is just the tip of the iceberg.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:39 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Oh yeah, and try not to dwell on it, because in return it will only cause you to be depressed and more hurt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • My husband told me the same thing almost 5 yrs ago. I still don't think I have fully forgiven him and moved on. I believe him 99% that he only kissed her and that was it, but there is always this pesky 1% telling me there must have been more.
    Good luck. I hope you can do better than I have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes, nor can I say how I would handle it. I would think I would bust his chops..
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 2:47 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I could never forgive my Hubby for kissing another women. I don't give a shit a kiss is a kiss and if I didn't cross your mind while you were with this other women then i would tell him go and chill with this women. You made an commiment to me and you lied and that is just not something that is ok in my eyes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • if you've got kids you don't walk away because of a kiss. i agree couseling. and he has to earn your trust back. he has to agree to what ever you want. 1. he has to let you know where he is 24/7. 2. answer any and all questions you have about her what took place ect. ect. he has to let you be angry. this can go on for a long time , a year, but then you have to let him forgive himself too. i know a couple where she cheated. he had been tempted too but stayed away from the girl, his wife had been telling him she needed more from thier relationship. he'd laughed it off. then he found out about the other man. eventually she choose her marriage and was remorseful. but they worked it out and now more than 15 years later they're still together and happy. he did make a solo trip to vegas and came home with some ,um, new things to try though. she never said a word.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Sometimes we get caught up in a moment. He sounds like he did and he knows better now and will probably show control in the future. That's good. Now it's up to you to get control of yourself. Do you want to give that other woman control of your life? That's exactly what you are doing every time you think of what happened. Every time the thought comes up you must replace it with a good positive picture of something pleasant. Take control away from her and regain it. Then you can put it all behind you and move on.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:23 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • He just kissed her and you trippin??? Yeah. it was messed up, but I promise you...I've been through worse. How about when I met my d/f he had one child, and now he has eight kids...only two of which are ours, and we are STILL managing to make things work-because God can change anyone that wants to change. At LEAST your husband confessed to you. You can go through counseling, but try to remember...he coulda fecked her. It was a kiss.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

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