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help me understand these feelings

I just wanted to ask people if im being crazy ridiculous or just off. My husband is getting ready to deploy for the first time and I keep having dreams of bad things happening to him. I hate this feeling I wake up feeling like my chest is going to cave in and im crying. When he talks about the deployment I act like im fine but at night time my mind wanders and I'm losing it. I'm so scared to tell him not that he would be mad or anything but I don't want him to worry and get thoughts in his head. I love my husband he is more than a husband he is my best friend and the thought that I could lose him is tormenting me.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 AM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You should tell him, they actually have programs for spouses to help with this exact problem. You are very normal everybody in your position feels the same way and it is the same with each deployment. You need to be honest with him, and you need to find a way to deal with it. I am sorry you are going through this it is scary and sooo hard.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:14 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • you need to be real with him, he deserves that from you. its natural to be having these feelings. its his first deployment after all especially. I would follow the PP advice. the military has support for the wives facing this, to help them ground themselves.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:26 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • It is normal. You are scared of the unknown. the military has free counseling.


    Answer by louise2 at 6:09 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • You need to get counseling, the military offers that for free! It's completely normal but you really should find others who are going through what you're going through, or have at least been there. A deployment is extrememly hard anyways and then add no support to the mix and it gets ugly! Good luck! My husband has been in the Marines for 6 years and has literally spent 47% of his career away from home.

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 8:02 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • These are just fears not premonitions. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts so you can sleep better. He doesn't want you stressing. There are a lot of people who think that thoughts bring about situations. Many guys who are deployed will freak out knowing you have thoughts like that so I would NOT tell him. They worry it will come true bc you kept thinking it into being. Replace those thoughts with happy thoughts while awake and they will push the bad thoughts away.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:31 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

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