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If your dh/so cheated on you but you decided to work things out and stay together, and later found out that he had kids outside your relationship-do you think you could accept the child(ren)?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • No.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 11:25 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • why NO? they are CHILDREN. a part of him and innocent of how they came to be.
    i might struggle a bit as i got over my pain about his infidelity. but i would 100% accept his children
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 11:27 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Why not? He messed up...not the child or children. They're completely innocent. They didn't ask to be here any more than I did. If I'm accepting him, and believing that he is absolutely willing to change and is making necessary steps to do so, those kids are just as much his as ours are. I would do anything I could, and HAVE even without the other mothers' knowledge, to help when he couldn't.
    WatermelonNerd

    Answer by WatermelonNerd at 11:28 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • its not the childs fault but honestly if i tried working things out and found out he has a child because of his screw up..theres no working things out...he didnt use protection ( std's and now a child ) he didnt consider me and our life together...strike # 2 and now our life isharder and more drama like a baby mama and to look at the women he cheated on me with..yeah strike 3.. your out.. he would be out the door... now he can pay child suport to two baby mamas....see how he likes that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • It happened to me only u can decide what u want to do. I decided to work it out until she decided to come and tell they was still having sex. So there is a lot u have to consider. U already know he's a cheater, so how do u know when he goes see his child he's not sleeping with the child mama.
    officerdouglas

    Answer by officerdouglas at 11:32 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • No, but then again, I wouldn't have given him a second chance either, so I guess I am not a good one to answer this one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • In my previous marriage, I caught my husband cheating on me while I was 7 months pregnant. After out baby was born, we decided to work things out...shortly after THAT I found out the person he cheated on me with was pregnant by him. At that time, I did wonder if I could ever accept this child. Well, time went on and the little girl was born...and I suprised myself by NOT having any bad feelings toward the baby at all. As a matter of fact, I took care of her anytime she was at our house.Well, years went by and we divorced because he proved to be a nonstop cheating pig...ANYWAY...our son together is now 9 and so is the girl.I still have her come to our house from time to time and has even been camping with us. I still feel like a step mom to her. Shes a good kid...just sorry these 2 kids got caught up in an idiot life style for a moment.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:37 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • If i forgave him or not, I won't take it out on the children. I doubt I would stick with him but it has nothing to do with children .
    mommorgan

    Answer by mommorgan at 11:48 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Since everyone decided to jump on my one worded answer, I will explain. No, I would not be able to accept the child because I would be out of the marriage if she (the other woman) were pregnant. I would be in the same place that child is in, innocent, so why should I be saddled with HIS irresponsible decisions. Yes it is a child, an innocent one but I would not want to be apart of that life, to me I would be resentful towards that child for being part of a horrible time in my life where my husband did not have the respect for me or our family to stay faithful to our marriage. And then to top it off and be that child's step mom, NO I don't think so, and have to deal with the other woman, no I don't think so. I would walk away.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 11:56 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • My son is the result of this kind of situation. My son pays for it because his wife doesnt want her kids or anyone to know about him. My son doesnt get to see or talk to his father. He and I messed up , I know that. I dread the day that I have to explaine this to my child. BUT, my son should not be the one it is taken out on.
    Do away with the guy, but don't punish the child, its not the child's fault.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

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