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If you were in an abusive relationship and have children, how did you leave?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • hmmm diffiuclt . when i WAS in an abusive relationship fortunately we had given our child up for adoptiom. leaving finally came down to he degraded me and beat me one time too many, and suddely my sense of self preservation kicked in. i waited till he was sleep and left.

    with kids, if he worked. i would grab a set of clothes for each child and hoof it to the nearest womens shelter

    Answer by sati769leigh at 11:29 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • oh if he iddnt work? i would call the freaking cops on him then leave while he was waiting tobond out

    Answer by sati769leigh at 11:29 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • call the women shelter they should be able to help,

    Answer by gammie at 11:31 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Wow, it was hard and my baby girl was not even one yet but I knew I could not let her grow up like that, somehow I came to my senses when he pushed her down in her crib. He drove me to my mom's and i told him I was leaving so he was like, F you but next day came back and I called the police and they kept him in jail until I could get a restraining order because he actually threatened to kill me in front of the cops! I went to court and then women's shelter and got permanent restraining order and he actually did the right thing by never contacting us again. 22 years later, remarried to wonderful man who adopted and raised my beautiful daughter. good luck mama!

    Answer by writeon at 11:33 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • packed my shit - rented a room and got out

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 11:54 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I made a plan, got a job, saved up and moved out. It wasn't easy but I did it and with three small children. Today there are Domestic Violence shelters who help.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:56 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I was pregnant. He pulled the last straw. Kidnapped me, brought me to his house while slamming my head and face into the windows and center console in the car on the way there. Threatened me with much detail about how he was going to kill me...and I ended up finally being able to call my parents and they showed up and I never went back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I didn't have children with him, thank God, but after more than two years of it I ran out the door one night while he was beating me and threatening to kill me and my dog in front of his mother, no less. I begged a neighbor to call the police. They came and took picures but since his mother wouldn't say anything about what he did, they let him go. I got a restraining order and with my statement he went to jail.

    If he works, get out while he is gone. If not, wait until he is asleep, or just all the police and get them there to help you leave. If he has a freak out in front of them, all the better. It will be on record, he'll get hauled in and a restraining order will be a million times faster and easier to get. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • After he held my 15 month old daughter in his arms while punching me in the face, I started making plans. I was working, have always worked and that is a plus for me as I had a job and money. I planned for five months, saved up money without him knowing it, was able to get a small loan from my credit union, got an apartment, and left. Just like that. He wouldn't let me take anything from the house, no pictures, no furniture, no dishes, pans, nothing. I didn't care, I took my clothes and my daughter's clothes, put them in a big garbage bag, and walked out. The next six months were hell, he broke into my apartment and beat me again while the restraining order was sitting on lawyer's desk waiting to be signed. She quit as his lawyer after that. Eventually he found someone else and started beating her so he left me alone. I had good friends for support also, that helped a lot. Now they have shelters.

    Answer by TarLion at 6:24 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Also, my second husband was not physically abusive but was emotionally abusive and very controlling. He worked shifts, some days some nights. After he threw the baby's walker at me while I was holding her and accused me of stealing his money, he went to work one night, I threw the kids clothing in a big garbage bag (I had three kids by this time), called my sister to come get me, she did, drove me to a friends house an hour or so away, and I stayed there. He found me gone when got hom and I didn't contact him for a week. When I did I told him to get out of the house because me and the kids needed to be home. He went and stayed with his parents for awhile. We reconciled some time later, had another baby, moved to a different state, he started cheating and drinking again so I simply threw him out, told him to get an apartment and he did. Fortunately he left and we divorced.

    Answer by TarLion at 6:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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