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this is kinda long but please i need advice(friendship help)

ok well to start off with i had/have this friend growing up we were bf then she dated my ex boyfriend right after he broke up with me knowing that i still loved him and wanted to be with him ok now 5 years later im married to that guy and shes married too i have forgave and tried to make our friendship work we started workingout together in the mornings but i have been sick plus have a 19 month old thats been keeping me up at night she gets really mad at me if i dont feel like working out says that if im not dying the next morning she'll come over and workout again she doesnt have kids yet so noone keeps her up at night but she only says long enough to get our heart rate up then leaves cause her mom needs her help plus she never has anything nice to say about my mom she bad mouths her all the time and i dont bring her up either what should i do am i wrong for canceling (its not all the time) should i stop workingout w/ her

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You don't need anyone like that in ur life. You should only surround yourself with people that are positive and make you feel good!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Yeah I would things change and people do too yes youv'e known her since you were kids but now you are grown woman you each have a different life so if there isn't anything special anymore yes let her go and live your life you are the one who got the guy in the end and have a child now so that is a busy life in itself...GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:53 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • If she is coming to your house to exercise, then you have the say in whether or not she is welcome to come. All you need to do is call her and tell her it is not convenient with you for her to come this morning. If she gets mad, that is her problem and not yours. Friendships that don't take the time to be considerate of the friend is not a friendship at all. It ends up being a "usership" and there is no way you cannot resent that over time. You can tell her that you will call her later if she would like to come over while the baby is napping or when you are feeling more rested. You need not be hateful with her, but you must be honest and you must be strict in enforcing the boundaries that you will be setting. She sounds like a person who is mostly about herself, and you can look at this as your way of helping her overcome her selfish ways. If she chooses to exercies somewhere else, that is her perogative, too.

    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:55 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • She's a bitch. Why are you trying to maintain a friendship with this person?
    elleinad

    Answer by elleinad at 11:59 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Is she using you to get on a treadmill or something? FOget that person. She sounds so much like a user.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • no we just do workout vidoes together like walk away the pounds and the biggest loser videos
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • thank you all for your answers
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I say you do it without her because she sounds toxic. I wouldn't want to be working out with someone who is talking crap about my mom or harassing me when she has no understanding of what it's like to have family.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 4:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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