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Need help! Son cries whenever I put him down

I am sure this won't get much support since this isn't a drama filled post, but I really need help. When my daughter was a baby, she was perfect. She wasn't a big cryer, didn't fuss much, and played on her own. My son completely different. He only wants to be held. If we put him down, he fusses and cries. I am sure the neighbors think we are killing him. I have to let him cry sometimes for 15 minutes just so I can get something done (like go to the bathroom and make dinner for my daughter). If he wasn't 8 months and 23 pounds I would try to carry him places, but my back starts to hurt and so do my arms. I have to put him down sometimes for that reason. If I put him down just to take off my coat he cries. He is fed, clean, and well taken care of. I a loosing it. I don't know what to do to fix this.

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Asked by theatregirl26 at 11:56 AM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • It's separation anxiety. Try getting a good sling, like an Over The Shoulder Baby Holder (you can find them cheap on Ebay) and see if that helps you when you're out and about, or just need to get something done around the house.

    For times that you can't use the sling (like when cooking, or if you're just too tired) you can try distraction. It probably won't work at first, because he's old enough to know what he wants. But having your daughter play with him if she's old enough to understand that she needs to help mommy, or putting some of his favorite toys in front of him may help. If it doesn't, then it's just a tough it out situation. He will eventually learn that mommy always comes back and gets him.

    I know how this feels. My daughter was the same way. It does get better! I wish you all the best!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:00 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I had this same problem, except mine cried while he was held too. We tried lots of different things.

    Is he lactose intolerant? Gas? reflux?

    Try setting him down for 3 minutes, and letting him cry no matter what, every 20 minutes or so. If there's not something medically wrong with him, then he'll get used to it.

    Do you have an excersaucer? or doorway jumper?

    Answer by Christina2135 at 12:01 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • absolutely get/make a wrap... a baby that big in a sling, especially if you are not used to wearing one, will be cumbersome to say the least! I had no problem using a sling with ds when he was that big, but I was also used to it.

    my dd was the screamer, but my boys were quiet and content always- Truly I attribute that to having worn them all the time. unless we were where they could sit/lay and play, they were in a sling/wrap. and now, they are the most independent little things because they KNOW if they need mommy, I am always here.

    Separation anxiety is a horrible thing for momma and baby- and they truly NEED you close, so I would suggest learning how to use a wrap- if you do, it will NOT hurt your back/shoulders, and it will keep your hands free, and your mind sane.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 12:04 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Thank you both. For Ati_13, he doesn't do that at daycare, but there is so much going on he is probably just busy. But she says he is perfect. It is just with me and my husband. Maddie is almost 4 and she does play with him, but it doesn't always help. Sometimes it does, but not always. I have a carier but it is a front one. I tried the sling and he hated that as a baby. I having something else as well, but it is hard to put on by myself so I will have to try it when my husband is home.

    For Christina2153, no medical issues. We do have a saucer and if he is in a good mood, he loves it, but if he is crying, forget it. Nothing works but us holding him. We end up letting him cry for a while because life must go on, but there are times it makes me want to curl up and cry because I can't do anything to make him happy but hold him. He would love a doorway jumper. Any good ideas of where to get one?

    Answer by theatregirl26 at 12:06 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Its ok mommy... I had a colic filled crying all day long little boy too - he had no medical issues except for a while I just thought he hated absolutely everything. he didn't really even want to be held either.. he still!! iugh.. I SOOO feel your pain. But I had my son first.... which is why he won't have a brother or sister....wahh....I don't have much advice but I can be here to support you to keep you from running away :) lol!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:10 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't suggest carrying home around all the time after four months. You'll be creating a dependency and he'll never learn that it's okay for him not to be held all the time. Aside from that I can't give any adivce, as I've never been in this situation. I hope someone else can help you out.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:17 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Look on craigslist for a doorway jumper. They aren't that expensive to begin with, but you should be able to pick one up for cheap!

    Answer by missanc at 12:18 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I got mine at walmart for under $20 i think. Its onyl a temporary solution. mine would last a good 10 minutes or so. sometimes I would hang it in the bathroom and take a shower with him bouncing away.

    I hated hearing mine cry too. I still do. especially if he's sick.

    I feel as though if he's crying its my job to make him feel better and if all i have to do is hold him then fine that's what i do.

    Answer by Christina2135 at 12:19 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Johnny Jumper!!

    Answer by wilesmomma at 2:47 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • An exersaucer will help. I'm not fond of jumpers...they just don't seem safe.

    Mine was the same way...I learned to be QUICK. **grin**

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:34 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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