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Never knew it was like this till i became a mom

Since becoming a new mother, i have noticed how competitive, nosey, and judgmental other mothers can be. I find myself constantly being judged for what i do with my son, who is 4 months old. God forbid i kiss him on the lips. One woman at Walmart had the nerve to tell me not only was i passing germs to him but also that type of kiss was inapropiate for a mother to give her child. What i responded with was somthing she was not expecting. I damn near slapped her....At a kids bday party another mother there whom i had just met tried to scold me for holding my baby as he slept instead of putting him down so that he doesnt get used to being held all the time. Being a new mother i welcome all suggestions and help, so long as its told to me nicely and respectfully. Do not scold me..... To the mothers here who do these type of things, you need to watch what you say. You might not like what you get in return.

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Dazey18

Asked by Dazey18 at 12:13 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Kudo's to you for saying.
    I kiss my daughter on the lips [except when she wants to lick me - lol]. Although I try not to hold her while she sleeps, sometimes it's just easier to hold her while she naps so I can nap too. LOL.
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 12:16 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I kiss both my kids on the lips....one's 8 months old and a boy, and the other is 2 years old and a girl...and I still kiss her on the lips. Nothing wrong with that at all. I agree..don't let anybody tell you how to be a mother. It drives me CRAZY. lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Yes, that was a real eye opener for me when I had my daughter. It's extremely sad. Mothers and women in general need to support eachother. We might not always agree and we will always have our own opinion & experience....but we cannot bash eachother or tear eachother down! You can give a suggestion or tell of a personal experience, but anything rude will only get a rude response. At least from me! LOL!
    Being a new mom is a total learning experience and there is no perfect mother.
    AngelaKeeling

    Answer by AngelaKeeling at 12:19 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Good for you. I didn't realize it either until I became a mother either. Ridiculous! I get unwanted and unneeded advice ALL the time. My son is over 2 now so its less and less but I know what you are saying! I will always kiss and love on my son. Too bad.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:21 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • i kiss my dd on the lips she is 2. I ask her for a kiss and she gives me one, and sometimes she makes that little gesture of getting in my lap and giving me one all on her own. I don't think it is inappropriate at a young age. It is a sign of affection. She sometimes pushes mine and hubbys heads together so we kiss. It is so cute. So, disregard other peoples ignorance. You do what works best and feels best to you as a good mom.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 12:26 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I think all of us mothers have something to share through our trials and tribulations of motherhood. However, that doesn't give ANY mother the right to tell us that we shouldn't do something because THEY think it's wrong. It's our child. If we choose to sleep with our child til they are six, breastfeed til their 4, feed them veggies and no meat, or vice versa it's nobody's business to give their UNsolicited comments to us period.

    Good for you Dazey for sticking up for yourself. I think alot of times too older mothers think that younger mothers are clueless. I am going to be 40, and i look young for my age, so I still get these glares from women my age and older if I yell at my children or give them ultimatums in the store if they don't check their nasty behavior at the door. It happens. I just glare right back at them.

    Just remember those "know it alls" are just insecure mothers with too much free time on their hands.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 12:31 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Oh we should chat sometime! This is the one thing I never expected before I was a mom. People say the rudest things! I was shocked when I first started getting comments from complete strangers in the super market!!! I am still trying to figure out a way to deal with people!
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 12:45 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • For some reason, too many women think the most cherished part of being a mom - just doing the best for your kids, the ones that grew in you and that you loved before they were even born - occurs only to them. I wouldn't put too much time or effort into what you should say or do in these situations. All you can do is what you know is best for your child.
    lvpenguino

    Answer by lvpenguino at 12:52 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • GOOD FOR YOU .....
    First of all,if you had a germ you all live in the same house and are catchable 3-5 days before you get sick.LOL

    Holding your child ?

    Once they start crawling, they do not want to be held unless sick.

    Tell them " I had her to spoil her"
    whyme48

    Answer by whyme48 at 1:05 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Oh the things people will tell you when U become a mother. lol Heck with those people who want to judge you. Kiss UR child on the lips, hug them tight, hold them while they sleep...all that matters is that you are loving and caring for them. Many other kids don't have that opportunity in this world. :(
    my2luvbugs

    Answer by my2luvbugs at 1:07 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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