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Ladies, Need Advice. So lost...

Ok so here is the situation. Found texts on SO's phone that lead me to believe he cheated on me. "I wanna f*** you so bad." "Hurry up." "Where are you?" I confronted him about them and he got really upset that I found them because he didn't want me to find out (obviously) but more or less because he says he didn't do it. He broke down and started crying telling me he couldn't cheat on when it came down to it because he loved me so much and blah blah blah. I don't know what to do. I am 8 weeks pregnant and I'm scared and angry and sad and hormonal and I just have no idea what to do. Obvious answer is to throw him out (i pay rent so I'm certainly not leaving) but I don't know if I want to do that. Yes, he didn't do it, or so he says, but he may as well have right? He got that far... I just am so lost. I have no idea what to do or say. Any advice/words of wisdom would be awesome. Thanks ladies.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • get him out of your life now. it will be harder to do later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • what is his excuse for those text messages then if he didn't do it? who are they from? do you know or did he tell you? if he cant be honest now, beware!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • OP here- he told me he had it all set up to meet her that night but left before she got there. He told me who she was, i don't know her personally.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • He needs to be on his own, right now. He's not mature enough to handle this relationship.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:05 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Ugh....Do you love him? Do you believe him? Is he the love of your life? If yes, you may want to work through this.
    If not, make him leave. He can pay child support. I don't think it's a good sign however, that at 8 weeks pregnant he's already about to flip partners. I don't know, I wish you luck and strength.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • OP again- i do love him, more than anything in this world. I went through so much to be with him and we both gave up a lot in the process. Part of me believes him... He said he was angry at me frustrated with me so he decided he was just gonna go be with someone else and then pack his stuff and leave but after he cleared his mind, he realized he didn't wanna do it because he loved me too much...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Sooo is he gonna try to run off everytime things get hard? Sounds like an excuse to me. Either way if he really was gonna leave you for someone else just cause he was mad at you, He will do it everytime. Everytime you 2 get into a fight you will have to look over your shoulder and make sure he isn't cheating and/or leaving......sound like something you can handle? If not get out now. I know you love him but that hardly seems like a healthy way to have a relationship....GL

    Answer by heather.darin at 3:15 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • My worry is that when the going gets rough, he wants to bail. Trust me when I say the going will get rough down the road. Marriage is tough, children are stressful. It would be crushing to have someone who threatens to leave every time it gets bad. I'm worried for you for down the road if this is how he handles things. Sometimes love isn't enough. You need to have a real chat about your concerns for his way of handling things and tell him it seems like a red flag and that he's being immature.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • sounds like he feels more bad that he got caught, rather than true guilt..if he's threatened to leave you before which you said he had, couldn't it be that he didn't because he didn't have a place to stay, buy or rent if place. seems like he's using you for comfort, and not with you for 'love'. what he 'loves' is the comfort- if he's seeking companionship from someone else. also, if someone left a text like that on his phone it probably means he's already slept with her a few times in the past if she is that comfortable using that lingo with him in a text. he's not being front with you- and even if he were..why would you put up with that..honestly it makes me feel bad for your baby right now more than anyone else..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Yeah? Call the female and see what she says. If she says they already effed, then talk to him again, and see what his story is. Get her on the phone in front of him, and if he is in love with you like you are with him-then it should be NO PROBLEM for him to let the other chick go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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