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Am I Crazy?

I am seeking for answers from someone who either has experienced this or knows someone that had. I have been married for 8 years to my hubby. During the beginning, my hubby verbally said things to me that has over the years mentally broken me down. I was a very happy and peaceful person before I met him. At first I didn't think too much of it, I would just get upset when he would say things to hurt me. Now it is getting worse and I am at a point where I feel like I am having a mental breakdown. It's not only his verbal abuse, but I have other underlying health problems that already takes a toll on me. His verbal abuse sends me over the edge and now its at a point to where I need to seek counseling because I have had suicidal thoughts. I don't want to put this behind any further because I may need serious help. Anyone have any idea on what would be helpful? I have children I love and need to take care of.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You need a therapist and also are you safe at home? Can you trust yourself? Do you have a place to go? I would seek help asap by a doctor to get the suicidal thoughts in control because you don't want to be so vulnerable you're deemed unfit. Get your mental health straight. You will need to leave this husband and need a place to stay meanwhile. Is he bad to the kids?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Therapy and a good divorce attorney. DO NOT STAY WITH THIS MAN. Not unless you want them to do the same when they are adults.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:16 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I agree speak with a therapist and know that you deserve a better partner in your life than your husband. What he is doing is verbal abuse/emotional abuse and it's his fault not yours that he is this way. I am somewhat in your situation and know how you feel. I often wonder how i survive some days around here, but I refuse to let a man's behavior affect my life anymore. So I'm looking for a job and i'm moving on. But until then I just take each day as it comes. That's all i can do at the moment. I have a group online if you are interested please PM me, it's a support group for women who are in situations similar to ours or just for women to vent about crappy men in their life period.

    I wish you luck. Hang in there, talk to a professional and you'll get through this. If you just want to talk and don't want the group PM me as well if you needa friend.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 3:18 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • No. He's a very good father to the kids and I love him for that. It's just that he finds things to say that hurts me or makes me feel as if I can't measure up to his expectations. I take alot of things he say very personally only because I love him, but then he uses it. He knows that. He never listens to me or rather he seems to listen when I tell him how it makes me feel, but it doesn't help because a day or so later he's doing it again. But thanks. I am definitely going to get some help. Being verbally abused , I believe, hurts worse than physical abuse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • You are being verbally abused with is more scarring than physical abuse.. there's not really a question here is there? Why are you staying? I know it is obviously a slow cycle that seems to happen but you have to know you don't deserve this Or your kids for that matter. I am sure they are seeing the type of abuse and in turn will grow up to be the abuser or be abused themselves and maybe on a more dangerous level. There are tons of programs to get you some help. Have your counselor find you some, figure it out , talk with a lawyer on your rights and get out fo there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • There's a chance you could do couples therapy so HE can learn how to communicate kindly. That would take SUCH an effort on his part to actually make him change. The falling into the old pattern is so hard to break. Maybe you could separate until he can learn to communicate like a gentleman. If you love him so much. Otherwise, get out. Really, this love isn't worth it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • i some what know what your going through i grow up watching my dad do this to my mom and she would be in tears and it does hurt seeing your mom cry or any family member and he even did it to me when i hit 11 years old my mom tryied leaving many times and she says she didnt cause of me and to be honest i think they would have been better being apart then together there still together to this day but they take care of one another there in the late 60's they had my late in life just do whats best for you dont just try to stay together for your kids and yes my mom still loves my dad to there are going on there 40th
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Divorce your husband. He doesn't love you if he treats you that way. He clearly doesn't respect you either. You need to get out of the situation. No amount of counseling or therapy will help if you remain in the situation.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:18 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • i wouldnt say ur crazy cuz you thought bout killing your self but you need to leave ur hubby i mean if hes puttin you over the edge and making you feel like crap than thats one reason why youve thought bout killing your self and if you wnat to know what will help you if you ever get to the point of goin to kill your self think of this what would my kids think would they be better without me who will take care of them and that should help you to not do it if your sittin there wit a knife or gun and if it doesnt make you think twice bout doin it than call someone to come over cuz you really dont want to put your kids thru that i thought bout killing myself a few times but that was before i had my dd and before i was prego and all i could think bout was my lil brother and how it would make his life worse so if you need someone to talk to ill listen and you need to get away from ur hubby youll be much more happier good luck
    myangelelena

    Answer by myangelelena at 4:33 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I used to tell SO I was perfectly sane when I met him (when he calls me crazy). We can let these guys get to us or we can let their abusive, hurtful words roll off our back if we want to stay. You do have choices. Of course you can leave if you want but that's not always an easy thing to do. When I met SO he could be funny then he'd get verbally abusive then really quiet and not say anything, even ignore me when I was in the room with him. I decided then he was the one that was crazy but I liked him anyway. I started reading all I could about Narcissists, and Sociopaths, Controllers, Verbally abusive men and a great book called How to Live with a Passive Aggressive Man. You can't accept his hurtful words. These abusive men are angry and most times at themselves but take it out on others. They say things to ppl that they feel about themselves. It's called Mirroring their feelings on to whoever will take it on. PM me if u want.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:01 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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