Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When others think the wrong things about you do you have to care? (what's a Christian to do?)

Long history with my family has lead to understand, after many years of agony, I can't change anything or how others think of me.

Right after Christmas I was told by a family member, in which I have not talked to in more than 15 years, I feed off misery of others. I was told if it isn't true I need to prove it. Hearing this I shocked and didn't respond or ask questions I just stood there with my mouth open.

I usually keep to myself and I don't gossip about others. I know it is horrible to wish bad on others. I don't, the problem is I really don't care to correct the misconceptions from others about me. So this person thinks I thrive off her failures, I know I don't. Do I have any obligation to correct this? Is it enough that I don't wish harm? Do I really have to correct what others think of me? Is it my obligation, as a Christian, to correct those who think I don't act like a Christian?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (9)
  • Well, I'm not a Christian, but to me, I guess it all depends on whether or not you want to have a relationship with this person. From what you said (you hadn't talked to this person in 15 years), I gather you're not especially close. So for me, I wouldn't bother. I mean, really, you don't have to prove anything to anybody, if YOU know whatever they're saying is not true, know what I mean?

    Answer by Anouck at 4:20 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • The only obligations you have are to yourself, your children, and God. You are not put here to please everyone else. If you truly feel in your heart that you are ok and have no need to change- than don't.

    Answer by ZaTa at 4:21 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Yes, but I need a Christians Idea of this. It will help me think about it and make up my own mind.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • you dont have to prove anyting and more than likely if this person is determined to have this opinion of you, there is litttl e you can do to change it. hold your head proud and know you are the best you you can be today

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:24 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I agree ZaTa I am not going to change, but I wonder WHY this is thought of me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • The best person to ask why is God... we are always being transformed from glory to glory and He is always shaping us and molding us daily. He desires to build character within us to be more like Him. Whether or not you think it is true... ask God to show you your heart and what He wants you to change. Do not do it for this person but for God, He will be the one to get all the glory that He so deserves.
    Only you can change you with His strength and guidance.

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 4:33 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • What I try to do in situations like yours is go to God in prayer and ask Him if there is any validity to the charge and if there is anything I need to do or say about it. He will show you if there is and He will even arrange the circumstances if necessary. I think a lot of times people say things like this to see if they can make us angry or if they can make us feel guilty. I don't think we are to play games with people, and God is the only one who knows for sure. So just ask Him and then do whatever He shows you that you need to do. I certainly don't think you should worry about what she said.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:19 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • It's not your obligation to pursuade someone of the type of Christian you are. Charles Stanley says, "obey God and leave the consequences to Him". Sometimes people throw accusations as a form of control, or to deflect the very same thing they accuse you of, so be aware of the motives of why the person brought it up..was it to lovingly tell you that they were hurt? Or was it so that you would be hurt and would try to appease their displeasure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • As a person I can only say that you won't change their minds if you try to give them correct information. You can only live what you believe and let others draw their own conclusions. They're going to anyway.

    Answer by witchqueen at 1:07 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.