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What would you do if your mom kept talking about being in the delivery room when you've told her over and over that you don't want anyone in there?

I'm due in about 8 weeks. My mom is trying to make up for not being around when I was pregnant and gave birth to my son....2 years ago. I want it to just be me and my husband in the delivery room throughout the labor and birth of my baby. That's how it was the 1st time and I don't want it any different. I love having that time alone with my DH. At 1st my mom acted like she understood and said she would just wait in the waiting room. Which I told her was fine, but since she is also offering to watch my 2 year old it may not be too practical. But, I told her I would pack a bag of fun stuff to keep my son entertained if that's what she wanted to do. But, now she's talking about how good she is in the delivery room and this and that and how I will love having her there. Even though I've told her over and over it was just going to be me and my husband. What else can I do?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (24)
  • You can tell her again that you appreciate the offer, but you only want your spouse in the delivery room with you and that's final. She should get it.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 4:27 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • say it would really mean more to me if you watched your grandson instead. it would mean the world to him to spend that time with grandma..... see if that works
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 4:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • All I can say is, my mom asked while I was in labor, but, when the doc said time to push, I dismissed everone out of my room...I pointed and said OUT!!!..LOL
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 4:29 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • No one is allowed in without your express permission. If she doesn't want to listen to you, she'll be forced to listen to the nurses/doctors.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I couldn't tell my mom no. I knew she would cry for years over it if I didn't let her basically, so I just said yes. Good Luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Just keep telling her. That's what I had to do. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And over. When it came time, we specifically told the nurses not to let her in unless we gave them permission. She did come in at one point, while I was just going through contractions, which really wasn't a big deal and she felt "involved" At a certain point the nurse came in and said "OK, time for just mom and dad for awhile" and then she was gone for the rest of the time. After my son was born no one came in until I was transported to the maternity rooms (ie not the birthing room). I can't wait for #2!!!
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 4:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • How about telling her the hospital has decided your older child CANNOT stay at the hospital and you REALLY need her to watch him at home? A lot of hospitals ARE forbidding young visitors due to fears over swine flu so it's not too farfetched.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:42 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • well maybe if she really does seem like she is going to try to cause problems, and there is someone else who could watch your son, tell her that you really want her to be there to watch your son but that if she keeps insisting, you will just have to wait to tell her until after the baby is born. if she is the only one available to watch your son, then you shouldn't have to worry about it because most hospitals would not even allow a child that young in for the birth.

    we didn't have this problem with my first because everyone lived so far away. now i'm hoping to avoid the problem because someone will have to watch my son :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • tell the hospital who you want in there and who you don't want in there. If you change your mind later, say so either way.
    just make sure you speak up when you feel a certain way.
    My SIL didn't. we talked to her about being at the hospital during it all (not in the room, just at the hospital in case anything was needed.) she thought it was a great idea- she was thrilled when we got there, wanted us in the room, upset when we left the room, and to this day claims that us being there made her birth experience terrible.
    I will probably never say anything about how it really was since she was the one in Labor not me!
    Just remember that it's your experience to have as you wish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Tell her you've made your decision and it's not going to change. Also that you would be able to concentrate better on your delivery if you know she is with your son. His world is going to change enough and he'd do well to have a familiar face around while you're having your baby. If worse comes to worse, have the nurses ask her to leave. Delivery room nurses are wonderful about that. It might not sound like a nice thing to do but she needs to respect that you are a grown woman and this is your day, not hers.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:46 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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