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what would you do?

Ok so heres my issue. My husband has suddenly become VERY interested in attending a swingers party. I hate the idea of it, even more so the pictures that pop into my head when I think about it! I don't like to share!! BUT I want to keep my hubby satisfied...Some people say it will be fun, and will bring us closer together, others say dont EVER do it, it will ruin your relationship! What do YOU think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • err NO. he made marriage vows. if YOU are not ok with this activity then it is WRONG flat out
    and honey unless BOTH people in a marriage are totally open to this and secure in themselves and eachother? its a DISASTER in the making
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 5:36 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I personally would never ever do it. Sure, it might be great, although I doubt it since it seems you'd only be doing it for him, but the other side of the coin is that it could end your marriage, are you willing to take that risk?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 5:36 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I think it's safer for the relationship than a threesome but if you don't like the idea then it won't work. You could start slow and find a couple and do a meet & greet instead of jumping into a party environment. At the meet & greet you do just that, meet. You could meet for dinner or drinks and just get to know each other. No pressure. See if there is chemistry and if it feels right. If not, then don't do it. If you tell them it's your first time they will guide you through it even before you even get to the WOO HOO part.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:38 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • My SO's friend was a swinger. He and his wife went to swinger parties all the time. It was his idea not hers. He ended up becoming interested in one of the other girls that they were swinging with. He is now divorced from his first wife and remarried the other chick. He is all messed up now. His new wife is much younger with 3 kids of her own (all young kids). His kids are already grown. He doesn't seem to be very happy now. It seems like it could do serious damage to a marriage if anyone is the jealous type. I would be kind of upset if my so would suggest it but that's just me. I know I myself would never do it but i've never been very good at sharing :)
    momof2il

    Answer by momof2il at 5:41 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • If you aren't into the idea, it will cause problems by doing it anyway.
    sandra1023

    Answer by sandra1023 at 5:46 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • NO WAY. Your DH just wants to cheat that's all. With your permission. I would tell my
    DH HELL NO.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:47 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Honestly, unless BOTH parties are interested, I don't see any way this would have a positive outcome...
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 5:48 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • If you are not interested in it, the DON'T do it. This has to be something BOTH people want equally, and not just one doing it to make the other happy. Your husband married you so he should be happy and satisfied with YOU. I agree, he is basically saying he's not satisfied and wants more or someone else and he wants to cheat with your permission. He probably figures if he takes you to a swingers party, that if you hook up with some guy then you can't get mad at him for wanting to have sex with other women. He's trying to buy you off in my opinion. I will do just about anything to make my husband happy, but sharing him sexually is not in the deal and if sleeping with other women is what would make him happy, I would be in divorce court first thing in the morning.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 5:55 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • If both parties are 110% sure and interested in the idea of swinging or threesomes, why not? It's their relationship.

    However, no couple should ever participate in such activities if both parties are NOT interested and sure.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 6:35 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Also wanted to add: what is it about swinging that is interesting to your husband? If there's an adventuresome interest on his part, you could meet his need by trying something new. Maybe he's interested in a different location, or a different style of sex. Are you open to role play? Dressing up? Sex in semi-public places?

    Maybe you two need to take a little vacation, JUST the two of you, NO KIDS. (When was the last time you had screaming, nail-me-to-the-mattress marathon sex?)
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 6:37 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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