Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

wedding gift drama-advice column

today in a advice column I saw a letter from a bride-said that her parents had agreed to pay for some dental work she had for her wedding. Now they say they won't, unless she gives them a detailed list of what she got for presents- so they can find out how much they cost to see which of their friends 'disrespected' them -ie- didn't spend enough.
How many would just give those game players a list that sounded good to give then what they wanted and shut them up?
I'm all for standing up for morality and convictions, but in my family if I didn't hand over that list I'd hear about it for the rest of my life!
maybe going the less stressful way is the way to go-
Not sure what I'd do-
what would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • If it were me I would say ok, when we get back from the honeymoon I will give you the list, that way she gets the dental work, and then give them a piece of paper that says it is none of your business what people gave us, get over yourself seek help. Then again my mom didn't come to my wedding because she was throwing a childish tantrum about me not letting her have all the say in the guest list.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 7:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I think that it is rude and out of line for the parents to ask for a list of gifts. It isn't any of their business.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:25 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't give them anything! Its not their business what the Bride got for her wedding, or how much anyone spent! And as for the dental work money, I'd tell them to keep it, and find my own way of paying for it!
    wishwish

    Answer by wishwish at 7:26 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't hand it over. You don't get married to get gifts, and you don't invite the people you think will buy the most expensive things. Gifts shouldn't be expected, and especially not considered disrespectful if its not up to the parents' standards.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 7:27 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • The parents are clods. Gifts are not a requirement for a wedding, nor are they a sign of "respect."
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • WOW! Those parents are over the top in so many ways! If they told their daughter that they would pay for some dental work, then they need to do it, unless they have a VERY good reason not to (like, parents lost their job or had health issues come up, so now if they pay for the dental work, they will be living in the street and eating cat food...).

    Gifts are NOT NOT NOT mandatory! YES - I give them, but that's because I CHOOSE to - NOBODY is REQUIRED to give a present to someone because that person is having an event in their lives that is significant to them. And the amount of the gift is NOT what's important. I've gotten some pretty expensive, and, frankly, meaningless to me gifts, and I've gotten some gifts that were, from strictly a $ pov worthless that I still cherish to this day!

    The woman needs to give them a list - with the name of each person and, next to it, it needs to say -

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:34 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • cont

    Next to each name it needs to say "gave the gift of their presence at our wedding, and their blessings and well wishes for our union - which is the best gift, ever!"

    If they push for more than that, they need to be told that frankly, you didn't realize that there was going to be a quiz afterward, and you aren't giving them the list.

    Even if I had to sell some of those gifts to pay for the dental work - I wouldn't give them the list!

    Part of being mature enough to get married is being willing to stand up to your parents, even if they get mad, when they're wrong - and in this case, they are SO wrong!

    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:37 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN