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This is the last straw, I need help!!!!

My 11 year old step son was diagnosed with ODD/ADD over a year ago. We have gone through all the counseling, and grounding, spanking, taking away prevliges, talked to him, he's on meds, and still he is out of control. He is a smartalec to the max, disrespectful, and now he is labeled and its running over into everything. He got in trouble again, I don't even know what to make a punishment I'm out of ideas. Please help me give me something.......

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Asked by bshultz33 at 8:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (7)
  • There are many therapists who work with people who have ADD/ADHD; they teach them not just coping skills, but how to use ADD/ADHD as an advantage in their lives. Thom Hartmann has written extensively on this topic; you should be able to find his books art your local library, there is lots of information at his website: You may also want to explore how foods affect behavior, either from the Feingold Organization ( or another source. We eat a "clean" diet; no processed foods, no chemical additives, no meat, very little dairy
    My daughter's attention issues were helped dramatically by fish oil supplements (though we have since switched her to hemp oil). It is important to use a good brand, like Nordic Naturals; it takes about 8 weeks to become effective. We recently discovered that magnesium supplements also help.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:35 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • If the meds are supposed to help and they are doing nothing for him I would get him off those meds , and talk to his doctor about trying something else, good luck. ;)

    Answer by incarnita at 9:56 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Treat him like a child if he acts like a child. Ignore him, sometimes they push buttons because it is so much fun.. if you pick your battles and stick to just making sure he's safe the rest will fall in place... praise the good ignore the sarcasm or disrespect... maybe you haven't earned it yet.

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 11:30 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Unfortunatly ADHD/ODD is ever changing and regardless of what you do for him it will NEVER "go away". My SS is 11 and has been diagnosed ADHD/ODD since he was 5. It took us almost three years to get a med and dose that even helped take the edge off without the side effects being an issue. Once we had the meds worked out he was in therapy everyother week. After a period of time the meds no longer helped and we had to start over(have done this twice now). He is in 6th grade and has a 504 at school so that he gets extra help where it is needed. It is a struggle everyday for us to help him and not get frustrated. It is not easy and my DH and I were seeing a therapist as well for quite a while to help us deal with our feelings about it as well as help us with parenting strategies to help him. If you have questions please pm me. Also look for groups on CM for other moms of ADHD kids-it helps to talk to others who know how you feel.

    Answer by Carajust at 9:02 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • you need to talk to the doc about switching his meds, if he is still out of control then his meds are not working properly

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:01 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • So basically you want to punish him for something you know he's not in control of. He probably would like to comply but I'm guessing he can't. You have no idea what the meds he's on is doing to him inside. Obviously they are not working so get them changed and for goodness sakes Stop Hitting the child. It is NOT effective. Talk to his doctor and quit blaming the child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:44 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • Dr. Phil says you should try to find something they've done right and praise them, also scheduling fun activities to keep them busy. I'm all for discipline, but lots of love and positive reinforcement go a long long way.

    Answer by lowencope at 8:42 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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