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do I give it yet another chance?

In short...I have recently left my husband we lived in WI and I just moved to Tucson. Every year we go through the same thing. I get pissed and leave! but I have very good reason to be mad...We have a little boy 3 in common and I have a 8 yr old from my ex. Since September of 09 he has changed the locks on the house and once boarded them up. I ended up at a Shelter w my 8 yr old and the 3 yr old stayed home with my husband. The house is in his mom's name...we rent w no agreement. Cops will do nothing to have him let us in. Other time in October he told me to leave and me and my son stayed at a hotel for 3 nights. We have been to counselors and all. He's controlling, meaning he shuts off my cell phone when i need it most. He says find a job but takes the laptop to work. I lost my job 2 yrs ago and its been hard since to find something else. As much as we both want our marriage to work I dont know what to do. U have ? email

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tucsonmomof2

Asked by tucsonmomof2 at 9:57 PM on Feb. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • don't EVER go back, this will continue and with whomever he gets after you. you can do way better.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 10:01 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • so why exactly do you want the marriage to work out? sounds outright bad to me
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:03 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • No don't go back and have him do it again. You can get on your feet and make it without his abuse. The man sounds like he should be in a rubber room
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • This is abuse, and you need to get out of the situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • It sounds like you are in a lose-lose situation with him. It also sounds like you need to take financial responsibility for yourself. If you are paying your own bills, he cannot have things shut off. Find a job (ANY job!) and a new place to live. This man is not good for you or your children. There are shelters that you can go to stay as long as you need. Try New Beginnings - http://www.nbwctucson.org/. They may even help you find a job. Good luck to you and your children.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 10:07 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • This is not only unfair but unhealthy for both you and your kids!!! LET IT GO AND GET OUT! I'm guessing he does this when you side with your 8yr old, or when HE thinks your giving your oldest son too much attention. When a man wants HIS kids but nothing to do with the one(s) of a previous relashionship its from jealousy and selfishness, and all 3 of you deserve better!!! I'm so very sorry you are going through this! I wish I could give you the courage and strength it takes to leave but I can't all I can do is offer my lousy advice and input!!! I know part of you still loves him but is it worth going through this to keep him!? I was stupid and tried to make an abusive relationship work not because I needed him but because I didn't want to be another mom with 4 kids and 2 baby daddy's! Stuff happens and IF AND OR WHEN we leave the father its for a DAMN GOOD reason!!! I do understand and there for can say you need to leave him!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 10:08 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • I am pretty sure you posted several diff ? about him this past week if I am remembering them all correctly - LEAVE HIS CRAZY ASS AND NEVER LOOK BACK
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 10:09 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • um no.. he made you stay at a shelter? What a loser.. even my ex husband wasnt that bad and he liked to get drunk and beat my ass..
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 10:09 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • "For as much as you both want it to work?" really? Letting somoene he wants it to work with stay in a shelter? The games are getting old for you both sounds like, and it also sounds like y'all are both old enough to not be playing them...
    Jeda624

    Answer by Jeda624 at 10:16 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

  • how long do you want to drag this out for? Enough. Move on and get your life together and down the road a nice guy will come around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Feb. 2, 2010

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