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What's your opinion of putting a teenage daughter on birth control b/f she becomes sexually active?

My daughters are very young, but I've always planned on putting them on Norplant or something equivalent when they're 13. Not forcibly of course, if they objected to it I wouldn't do it. I will definitely teach them that I think sex should be saved for when they're older and in a serious relationship, but my feeling is that no matter how good a parent you are kids sometimes screw up, and when there's birth control out there that's practically 100% effective I can't see why anyone who does not wish to be pregnant should not be on it, even if not currently sexually active. I'm interested in hearing others' opinions about this.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Feb. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (61)
  • Personally, I wouldn't. There are risks to hormonal birth control. Norplant is no longer available, so your daughter's options would be the pill, the shot or the patch, since candidates for IUDs have had babies.

    The reason I wouldn't is because I have noticed something in my younger siblings. If they have hormonal birth control, they don't use condoms. My little brother has sex with DIRTY girls unprotected because "they're on the pill anyway". My little sister had unproteced sex with her former man-whore boyfriend (former boyfriend, still a man-whore lol). And now they all need to be tested for HIV and for HPV.

    I will make sure my daughters know I will take them to get birth control if that's waht they want, but I will not offer to put them on it until they are ready. I will also be talking a LOT about safer sex and taking care of yourself.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:36 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • IMO I think you would be giving them more free reign to have sex b/c then they won't have to worry about getting pregnant. Yes, I know many teenagers mess up, but I think that if they aren't on birth control they would be a lot more careful about having sex or waiting longer.

    Answer by ABPeterson at 8:37 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • no..not until they become sexually active. Maybe you can make a promise with each other that they will tell you when they do become sexually active or are thinking of becoming sexually active. Promise them you wont get upset and that you just want to take them to the doctor to discuss options and health

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:42 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I am totally against that. I am in favor of teaching children that sex is to be saved for marriage. That's how I raised mine. They were all virgins when they married and would tell you today that it is the only way to go. There's a series of books that are very helpful. They are EVERY YOUNG WOMAN'S BATTLE and EVERY YOUNG MAN'S BATTLE by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arteburn. Besides teaching all the benefits of waiting until marriage, it is imperative that you also stay actively involved in the lives of your children and that they know that you believe in them and want the very best for them. We are nobody special, but this was the commitment that we made to our children, and God honored it and helped us to see it to fruition. Besides all the STD's, there is great emotional and psychological harm that results from premarital sex. A parent's job is to protect the children and to teach them, not to help them fail.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:49 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I think 13 is too young to even think about birth control, if you have an open relationship with your DD hopefully you can talk about sex and everything that goes with it.....I would hope that you would hold off until she is dating at least,,,at 13 when would she even get the chance to be alone with a boy? I am all for BC , but I wouldn't do it automatically!

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:55 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Well a really good friend of mine's 15 year old daughter just had a baby Jan 21 so I would say do it. She talked to her daughter SO much about sex and all the things you should talk about. She thought about putting her on bc but never did because she was afrain that would give her more reason to feel she could have sex with no consequences. But at an honors ceremony for her daughter (she is very smart and good in school) my friend notices she is "bigger" in the stomach and afterwards approaches her and makes her take a test and they both findout she is pregnant. She is pretty sure her dd knew but was in denial but the bottom line is, you can talk til you are blue in the face but teenagers think they know everything and its our job to protect them, we cant control what they do but we can help make them safe. I would do it. But of course its a good idea to remind her of the other diseaes she can get from sex that bc cant help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I really think that is a personally decision you need to make. No one can tell you if it is a bad idea or not. If you feel that is right for you guys then that is what you need to do.


    Answer by Raeann11 at 9:02 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I'm so on the fence about this. I have 3 daughters so I will definitely be facing this problem when they're teens. I hope that I have an open enough relationship with all of them that they will come to me when they're sexually active and then we can take care of birth control.

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:04 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • IMO I think you would be giving them more free reign to have sex b/c then they won't have to worry about getting pregnant. Yes, I know many teenagers mess up, but I think that if they aren't on birth control they would be a lot more careful about having sex or waiting longer.

    This is something I worry about which is why I asked the question. It's hard b/c I can see how putting a girl on birth control might make her more likely to have sex which I certainly don't want. But when it comes down to it I think I'd rather have the peace of mind of knowing that she most likely won't get pregnant even if it increases the likelihood of her becoming sexually active sooner versus worrying about her becoming pregnant. I don't really feel comfortable with the idea of just being open with her and letting her know that she can come to me when she wants birth control - continued

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Because my mother tried to do the same with me and I still had sex without telling her. No matter how close a relationship you have with your kids, it's still quite natural for a teenager to not feel comfortable telling her mother something like that. Besides, lots of first time sexual experiences happen in the heat of the moment without prior planning!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

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