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Family needs prayers

My in-laws are in a very complicated, nearing abusive, situation. I am in no position to step in, but my heart goes out to my two nieces, ages 4 and 1. I am crying in my heart to think of what they are being exposed to, they're need for guidance and security, and they're future. I don't think that they are aware of the severity of the situation, but these two little ladies don't deserve the fallout of the turmoil that is boiling above their comprehension. The most I can do is pray, pray, pray, and pretend that I am cuddling, comforting, and playing with them. I am afraid of what the parents situation may escalate into, I just want some peace for these dear little ones. Please include them in your prayers today.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Feb. 3, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (11)
  • I will pray for all of you and encourage you to step in when it might be time to protect the children. Even if it means calling in the authorities. I am very sorry you are witnessing this. It must be a horrible situation to live with. My prayers for you, your family and especially the children.
    Kattykitten

    Answer by Kattykitten at 9:34 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I'll elaborate a little bit more on the situation, so maybe someone will know what should be done, what shouldn't be done or said, etc. My brother-in-law has been drinking very heavily, smoking heavily, and just lost a very well-paying job. He doesn't care about anything but his beer. There have been some trust issues between him and his wife, both are guilty. She is ready to forgive, and move on. His actions prove otherwise, he wants to hold onto old hurts and stew away in his habits. She matter-of-factly informed him that if he continues his behavior, they will lose their home, because her job will not pay for the mortgage and his habit. She tried to remove the beer, and he physically pinned her so he could put the case back in the fridge. My husband was there at the time, and left promptly with our kids. This is his family, and I have promised not to blab for the purpose of not damaging the delicacy of the situation.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • You can call CPS if you are in fear of their safety. prayer is nice, but if it's all you're doing it's useless. God helps those who help themselves. You need to do something pro-active in order to help the kids. It's not always easy to do the right thing, but it's better than doing nothing. But yes I will send positive energy for the kids and ask that things work out in their best interest.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:46 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Promising not to "blab" is the same as doing nothing. For the sake and safety of the kids call CPS and have your sil get into marriage counselling. If he's not willing to work it outshe's better off without him in their lives.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • .....because he knows his family much better than me, and how to deal carefully with them. However, my moral standards (and maternal instincts) are screaming at me. I am keeping this anonymous as possible. I want to be prepared for whatever happens. I'm not even going to bring this up with any members of my side of the family. If anyone has any words of encouragement, wisdom, prayer, or support, they will be most welcome.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Prayers dear. My concern is your husband. Why on Gods green earth did he not step in then and there? This is a been there done that. Same type of sisution. Almost exact except the losing of job. My BIL did the same thing to his wife for the same reason. DH was there ( he had to spend the weekend with them to fix her car. Took the kids so they could spend time with their cousins. DH put him down fast and told him to never touch her again then told him he needed help if he didn't get it by the next weekend her and the kids were coming home with us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • they need counseling & you need to call CPS to protect these kids!!! How much worse are you gonna feel when something does happen to one of these helpless girls? You can call anonomously but YOU NEED TO CALL!!!!!!! Most likely right now they won't remove the kids but will order the parents into counseling, if you wait & things get worse then the state's gonna take em.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:59 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • i really think your husband should have stepped in. one to stop it and let your bro in law know its not right and two to show your kids its not right. maybe you and your husband and you in laws can sit down and have a heart to heart. sometimes people dont see how damaging their ways are. and i wouldnt call cps unless hes physically hurting the kids. im praying and im sure God will take care of this.

    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 10:15 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • but i will say cps does need to be called if he doesnt shake this off. he could be depressed and feeling pretty bad for losing the job. its very stressful and men tend to turn away from the family and put it into an outlet. like drinking, watching way to much tv... give him sometime before you call cps.

    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 10:18 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • OP here. he started having panic attacks at work over a year ago. it just seems to keep spiraling down from there. It's when he's drunk that he does the stupid stuff, problem is he's drunk a lot of the time. My husband did confront him gently on it, and said that he's disappointed and has lost respect for him. He is extremely sensitive so it's kind of a walk on eggshells thing. But even then he didn't even seem to care what my husband said about his actions. He is being self-destructive, and due to the nature of its consequences, it isn't likely to stay contained to himself. I have no clue what it's like to be an alcoholic or to be recovering from it. My husband and I have to be very careful on where we stand on a very fine line. We discussed possible actions, although they didn't really include the kids, but his parents, who are disabled and living with his brother. As I said, it's extremely complicated. DX
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

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