Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How would you react if a BD that you had a falling out with, was trying to get custody of your child(ren) and then suddenly changed his mind?

Would you feel he is giving up on your kids-or would you feel like he's doing what he thinks is best for them by letting you keep them and move on?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Feb. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • It would depend on why I thought he was trying to get custody in the first place.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:16 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • More details are needed. When you guys split did he immediately try for custody or was he mad @ you & decided to go 4 custody just to get back @ you? Did he decide not to go 4 custody cuz the new woman in his life doesn't want them? Or bc he thinks you'll do a better job/ not want to do it himself? Does he still intend to be a part of their lives or did he just walk away completely? Does he still talk to/see/support them?

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:24 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • OP here: I think it's because he's tired and doesn't want to fight anymore. It's been about 5 years of drama. He swears the woman he's with has NO problem with our kids. She doesn't. He actually picked him a really good woman-I just don't like her. LOL! But I know she would be good with our kids. His argument is that he has a more stable environment than I do. But I have been doing JUST fine taking care of them without him for THIS long!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Then he's probably tired of all the bickering & fighting. Take him @ his word & make sure you get a custody agreement in place that works for the both of you while putting the children before any ill feelings you have toward each other. No matter how you feel about her @ least you know she'll be good for your kids, don't let that cloud your ability to do what's best for your kids. Not easy rising above the feelings but its possible. Let the underlying reason go & thank whatever you thank that you can stop fighing about it & move on. GET IT IN WRITING!!!!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:54 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Oh! NO DOUBT @ Nyx7! That's what we're doing on Friday. We both talked to the liason for the kids, and we're going before the judge very soon. I just was starting to feel like he was abandoning the kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I can only imagine how you're feeling! What a tough situation. Like what was already said, remember-it's about what is best for the KIDS, not for you! If his new gf is a good woman, put any animosity aside for her-but I would also make it clear about HER role as stepmom or whatever. What you are willing to allow her to do and what you are not. If you want the discipline left up to HIM, make sure you put that in writing too. She still isn't the kids' mother, and I understand that.

    Answer by WatermelonNerd at 11:00 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • he is probably realized all the work it takes to do a decent job and has decided he rather b lazy. get whatever agreement in writing so u can b sure of where u and your kids stand. its not fun plus its expensive to drag these thingas out not to mention hard on the kids especially.-- not to mention u. some men just dont hv what it takes to b hands on fathers when they r not in a relationship with the mom. b glad u can manage on your own. gl.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • What the He** is a BD ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.