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Mom's with Boys....

I have a son who turned 2 a few months ago and he's pretty much the only boy in our family in the past well, since my husband was a boy .. so 36 years... I notice when we go to group play area's that there are a lot of mom's though that do let their boys hit and throw toys at other kids and let them be all rowdy/pushy.. is it because they are boys or just kids that certain parents let them do this? I am raising my son to wait your turn, no hitting, saying excuse me and thank you and sorry.. So my son gets knocked over or run over and the parents are like,. well that's boys for ya... No,its not...if my son did that, he would have to say sorry... and he waits his turn while getting hissed at by another little girl that ran over my son to play with what he had... what type of child are you raising? I know even my sister is raising a selfish ME first type of person cause that's how she is... so sad...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Feb. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • i think u r doing what i did&i wondered the same thing when my sons were getting run over by the other kids.all i can tell u is that when someone else hits first gv them, your own children regardless of sex, the permission to protect themselves and hit back. then when it gets out of hand and the adults get involved u ask for an apology from both sides-all kids can say sorry.its not perfect but imho its better then having your child always getting the worst of it.its tough today because many parents let there kids do whatever&dont teach them hitting is wrong, etc... what do u do when the parents act worse then the kids??all i can say is that is how i solved the problem and it is very hard because u do want your child to b polite but then u cant just stand there and let him b beat up because thats boys for ya.i think u r doing what parents should do but that does not appear to b the reality of todays parent-child relationship.
    emily1234

    Answer by emily1234 at 11:55 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I don't believe having a boy is an excuse for raising a child without manners. My DS is expected to wait his turn, say please and thank you, etc. I do think that boys are naturally more physical with play though, so as long as the play isn't too rough I let it go
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:37 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I also raised my son that way but around 2 or 3 I had to teach him that if he gets hit he can hit or push back. BUt he know even now that he is not to do it first.
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 11:39 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I raise my son to be polite but not to get pushed around...I teach him please, thank you,excuse me,sorry,your welcome.....but if another boy trys to push him around he is to defend himself. He knows not to hit on others just because,if he did that he'd be in trouble.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • My boys know not to hit, push, or throw stuff at anyone besides their brothers. Nice, huh? They will be obnoxious around each other, but if we're at the park or something, they know to play nice with the other kids. Not doing so results in them sitting out not playing at all. My boys are 5, 4 and almost 2, for the record.
    What you described just sounds like bad parenting to me.
    GothicMommy3

    Answer by GothicMommy3 at 11:42 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • i think that some kids are different. its not just a boy thing. my daughter is 19 months old. she intimidates most boys. she is learning to share, but since she doesn't have siblings at home very often (her half-siblings are only here EOW and one night a week) and she doesn't go to daycare she is still learning. She is VERY lovey. she likes to give hugs. half the time the boys and other kids shy away when she comes up to give them hugs like they think she is going to hurt them and so she ends up knocking them over because they are leaning away from her. she can be rough though, but not because she means to be. and we are working on it.

    also, there are some boys that ARE just rougher and others that aren't. my nephews are always given a hard time for being a "sissy" by my in-laws (not my term). they are quiet and dont ever play rough. they also dont handle rougher kids very well.

    CONT
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:43 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I'm doing the same as you, and I worry that my children will be run over and pushed around by children who have not been taught any manners (sadly, this also includes my sister's children). I have 2 1/2 year old boy/girl twins, and they are both held to the same standard. My little boy is actually much more compliant, and it is my daughter who is frequently in trouble for hitting or pushing. I sometimes see moms with little girls allowing their daughter's to be mean to other children when the other children are boys, and then getting very upset when the little boys retaliate - I think this is just as wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • That's called bad parenting.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:44 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I dont think there is anything wrong if a child is playing rougher. but not sharing and taking turns and apologizing are different. those are things that need to be taught no matter if the child is a "rough" boy or not.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:45 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • My son wasn't really the rough & tumble kind of kid as a toddler & he was also taught to be polite & considerate of others, so I know what you mean. Some parents use the "that's a boy for ya" statement as an excuse for lazy parenting, unfortunately. When someone says that, you could mention that your child is also a boy & he doesn't behave that way b/c he's not allowed to, which will, of course, put the other parent on the defense b/c they'll think you are criticizing their parenting skills (which you are) or you can just take it upon yourself to correct the bully child & see what happens. If the other parent goes after you for correcting their "angel", simply explain, with as little emotion as possible, that you thought that's what the other parent would've wanted, their child to learn to play nice & you didn't think they wanted their kid to learn to be a bully, etc. Say it as innocently & sweetly as possible, too...lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

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