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why do some moms think it is ok to let an INFANT "cry it out"??

my daughter is 9 months old and not once have i let her cry it out and trust me she has been fine. just today i received news that the brother of my sister-in-laws friend let his 5 month old baby cry it out.the babys parents had just fed her a 2 oz. jar of baby food and the baby apparently would not stop crying. so they took her upstairs to her room left her laying in the crib to cry it out and put herself to sleep. 30 minutes later they walked upstairs to check on her, and the baby was no longer breathing and had passed away. she threw up her baby food and choked up ofcourse bcuz she had been crying so long and yes, choked with food stuck in her throat. my heart is with this family ofcourse because no one deserves to lose a child. just please dont let this happen to your infant and understand that this is an infant who should never have to cry it out no matter how fed up you are...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Feb. 3, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Because this society is obsessed with making infants independent and people tend to try to fit the baby to their schedule rather than understanding that babies are by nature dependent creatures and YOU must do the adapting. People think babies don't "need" to be held and don't understand that crying is their only communication tool and that need is as essential to them as food and water.

    This tragedy is another reason I think it is a stupid idea to feed babies purees before they can sit up unassisted or even roll over for that matter and I wish doctors would stop recommending it. Though even without food it would have been a choking hazard anyway if it was formula or breastmilk that was spit up.


    When a baby cries there is always something they need or something wrong that just needs to be discovered. They don't cry for no reason.
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 1:42 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • omg the poor parents.. no I don't think its ok to cry it out until over 18 months.. your baby needs you & cries for a reason.. this death could have been prevented..
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 1:22 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Oh no. Its normal for infants to cry. I didnt let me daughter CIO until she was about 1 1/2 and most of it was just because she was spoiled and wanted me to hold her. It never lasted that long and I would have never put her on another floor. I usuually stayed right outside her door so I could hear her if she started choking or something.

    I feel bad for the parents. They are gonna beat themselves up about this for a lifetime.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • what they did was not CRYING IT OUT, it was neglect and abandonment. laziness. if you CIO you remain close by .
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:42 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Because this society is obsessed with making infants independent and people tend to try to fit the baby to their schedule rather than understanding that babies are by nature dependent creatures and YOU must do the adapting. People think babies don't "need" to be held and don't understand that crying is their only communication tool and that need is as essential to them as food and water.

    This tragedy is another reason I think it is a stupid idea to feed babies purees before they can sit up unassisted or even roll over for that matter and I wish doctors would stop recommending it.






    I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS ANSWER 100 PERCENT!!!
    mariisasmommy

    Answer by mariisasmommy at 1:43 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • "what they did was not CRYING IT OUT, it was neglect and abandonment. laziness. if you CIO you remain close by ."

    THAT is the truth.
    When you let a baby cry it out you don't just sit the kid down and walk away, you are CLOSE so you can hear the baby choking, gagging, anything else.

    but IMO i don't think you should be posting this for the world to see, even if you are anon. it's completely disrespectful.

    "just please dont let this happen to your infant and understand that this is an infant who should never have to cry it out no matter how fed up you are..."

    and as for that remark, ANY doctor, ped, or any other medical adviser will tell you IF you are getting to a certain point of frustration, then YES sit the baby somewhere safe and walk away for a few minutes. would you rather the child die of SBS?
    wahm_abbeyrose

    Answer by wahm_abbeyrose at 1:56 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • From what I"ve heard, even when using the CIO method you're supposed to check on the infant every 5 minutes. The one time I tried to use it with my son (when he was 16 months old), he threw up on himself and got diahrrea all over his bed. He had been alone for 5 minutes. I felt so terrible and never did it again. I am now pregnant with my second and if I do use some form of CIO (which I currently don't plan to) it would be in a very limited way.

    It is never right to leave a child unattended for 30 straight minutes when they are awake.
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:11 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • And I agree, 5 months is a bit young to be eating pureed baby food. The parents should have been much smarter with that. I'm sure they are now regretting it. No one deserves to lose a child, but that's why we must be smart about how to take care of them.
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:12 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • They think it is ok because we live in a self gratifying nation. CIO is not about baby ever! It is all about the caregiver and their "need" for sleep, even though man (or woman) has survived since the dawn of time with the same lack of sleep. During this day and age there are way too many parents only thinking about themselves and putting their wants above the child's need. The fact remains that CIO can be harmful and deadly yet everyone wants to ignore this because it means they get to have what they want and it was "recommended" to them. Not to mention the 90% of CIO caregivers that have no idea what CIO truly is and how to implement it and continue to give advice on how to ignore your child's needs. Another wrench in the situation is the number of doctors that instruct their patients to implement CIO yet give no more information or help with the matter. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • wahm_abbeyrose

    but IMO i don't think you should be posting this for the world to see, even if you are anon. it's completely disrespectful.

    "just please dont let this happen to your infant and understand that this is an infant who should never have to cry it out no matter how fed up you are..."

    and as for that remark, ANY doctor, ped, or any other medical adviser will tell you IF you are getting to a certain point of frustration, then YES sit the baby somewhere safe and walk away for a few minutes. would you rather the child die of SBS?



    NUMBER ONE I DONT FEEL THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL, IT IS INFORMING YOU OF CONSEQUENCES THAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOUR NOT CAREFUL AND NUMBER TWO YES YOU SHOULD SIT YOUR CHILD DOWN WHILE YOU ARE CLOSE BY TO PREVENT SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME BUT NOT FULLY NEGLECT THE CHILD AND WALK IN AFTER 30 MINUTES... PEDIATRICIANS ALSO SAY TO WALK IN EVERY 5 MINUTES TO CHECK ON THE BABY. JUST FYI
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

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