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how can I help my daughter?

my daugher is an only child with the exception of our "foster" baby we recently took in 4 months ago. I sheltered her 90% of her lifetime; she was always with me and never really had the opportunity to go out and "socialize" with other kids. She doesn't know how to keep friends - she got in trouble at school for causing drama between all the girls in her class. I talked to her about being a friend in order to keep a friend - not sure if she understood that one! I don't want her to be friendless but I also don't want her to be the girl whose mom interferes and "rescues" her all the time. It's actually much worse that it sounds in this question forum - but I need help!

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luvbeinhermom

Asked by luvbeinhermom at 12:28 AM on Jun. 26, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • How old is she? Sounds like she just needs to really get immersed into a social life and she will figure it out. Talk to her about what it takes to be a good friend, listening, cooperation, etct, and ask her how she would like to be treated. give her lots of opportunities to interact with kids her age and try to let them work things out by themselves.
    sapient

    Answer by sapient at 12:49 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • It depends on how old she is. One good thing would be for her to read books about good friendships. Another would be for you to invite one child over at a time to play and be around them so you can talk to her about how to learn to be a friend. Depending on the age there's a lot more.
    jackimci

    Answer by jackimci at 11:42 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I have a 14 year old sister in the same situation. She didn't understand that talking about someone good or bad is not nice. Unfortunately she needs to learn these things on her own. My advice would be to let her fall, but def. be there to pick her up. And if she asks for your advice, first of all pat yourself on the back, and then be really honest about what you would do in the situation. Ps, joining a sport or a group with a goal will really help her bond w/ other kids.
    ChasesMommy0115

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 9:48 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I agree with those who say she needs more socialization. Help her to select some safe social situations like joining clubs or doing activities that she likes with other children. Introducing play dates, as well as keeping the lines of communication open while she has these new experiences might be good. Best of luck.
    artC1s

    Answer by artC1s at 8:23 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

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