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I want another baby.. but I can't tell anyone!

My DH and I lost our infant son a few minutes after birth last year. Well as soon as I was physically able, we started trying to conceive again. I told everyone that we were trying again.. Once it didn't happen for us, I started telling people that we had decided not to have another baby.. That we would be just fine just being together with no kids but secretly, I am dying for a baby. If I tell my husband, I swear he'll call me psycho, because even with him, I deny that I want to be a mom. I'm just stuck ina rut. I was told it would be impossible to conceive but I am just stuck on being a mommy. How do I get past this? We thought about adopting and looked into it, but I haven't made my mind up completely on that. Anyone else going through this? We've been TTC for almost 4 years with one miscarriage and one loss...

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Feb. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If you feel that strongly about trying for another baby I would advise you sit down and talk to him and make him listen make sure you get everything in before you even let him get a word in so he knows it all. I currently want another baby really bad and my fiance doesnt think is a good idea but our daughter is 3 and i think its time. but its killing me to wait I kinda understand but i strongly suggest you talk to him about everything if you keep it in your are going to go absolutely mad. best of luck

    Answer by cmjones at 5:17 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I was told I couldn't have children before I got married. My husband didn't want children. Early in our marriage I was scheduled for surgery to remove masses and probably a hyserectomy. The doctor said I may as well try to get pregnant. I went off the pill and got pregnant in one month. The blood pregnancy test had just gone on the market and without that I would have had surgery that would have killed my son.

    Becoming a mom changed me so much. I had been very career oriented and became baby oriented. I didn't go back to work. I wanted another baby and after a miscarriage had another.

    Thing is my husband didn't want to be a father. He left when the youngest was 2 and married a woman that had had a hysterectomy. Being a part-time dad was ok.

    I don't think it is a good idea to try to get pregnant without your husband knowing about it. He may now be in a different place.

    Answer by Gailll at 5:20 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your loss... I know that must have been terrible for you. You really need to talk to your husband about your feelings - he is the only one that you need to be concerned about telling. And he deserves to know what page you are on with this. If he was considering adoption, it isn't likely he'll be completely opposed to trying again. Good luck!

    Answer by Iskkra at 5:48 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • sorry hun. its hard, but i dont think your husband would think that. right now i've ttc w/ my husband for 5 months with one loss. but i am only telling close friends that we are, cus i just dont want ppl to know. im sure if your talk to him, he would most likely listen :D GOOD LUCK

    Answer by bmdred at 8:22 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • hugsYou told us!  BTW it's ok to feel like you do. Let time heal things emotionally and physically then let's see what life has to offer you. We never know what blessings life will send us. I'm sorry for your loss but let's focus on future possibilities no matter what they may be.


    Answer by admckenzie at 8:57 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

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