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How to handle this situation?

About a year and half ago I discovered my 16yr old son was looking at gay porn and had profiles on gay dating sites using his full name. I discovered tonight he has a facebook page just for gay stuff. Again using his full name but changed the location and talking sexual to men on facebook. Its not the part about being gay its what he is putting out there for everyone in their brother to see. The comments he has made and that have been made to him are x rated to give you an idea. Im feeling like Im going to puke that my son would put this kind of stuff out there for everyone to see. When I confronted him last time he ended up in jail for beating me. Im at a total loss ...oh and dad..well we are divorced and he is just like oh well.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Feb. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (36)
  • how did you confront him? was it an angry confrontation or did u try to talk to him calmly? either way him putting his hands on you is not acceptable and he would be serevely punished for that...on the other hand i would let him know not to be ashamed of being gay, but that what he is doing on those websites is dangerous. also u are his parent and as long as he is in your house you are able to control what he is doing on the internet. and start blocking sites until he is able to be honest with you.
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 8:19 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Your 16-year old should live with his dad. A son that hits his mother is a loser!!!!!! Get him out of the house.

    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 8:21 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • when you say you confronted him was there anger on your part?

    I think if this were me- I would take him out somewhere a restaraunt or soemthing- and talk calmly to him- he is less likeely to freak out on you in a public place like that and just let him know you are concerned with what he's putting out there and why let hiim know you CARE and love him and it worries you
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:35 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • The last time I confronted him I was calm and it was just he and I. He was ok untill I took the computer away from him. I took it and put it up while he was at school when he came home I sat him down and calmly told him it was put away untill he could prove to me he could be trusted. That is when he went off on me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • he shouldnt have hit you, obviously.

    Why don't you just leave him alone. If his lifestyle disgusts you then stay out of it. He's going to be just as gay whether he announces it on the internet or not.

    Teenagers are all skin, bones and hormones. Every teenager that has free reign over the internet has advertised thier sexuality in some way, be it a suggestive photograph or lusty chatting.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 8:41 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • he's probably not out at school and you took away his only link to the gay community and his real self.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 8:42 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Christiana2135...its not the lifestyle that disgust me. I have a very good friend who is gay and many good ones from my past. The first time I moved out my two roomates were gay. The things he is saying on here is more than lusty chatting. If it came up on my facebook friends page and I read the wall post and knew it was my son by what he was stating was going on and where he was then it would be very easy for someone else to figure it out. I worry about him going a step futher and setting up a meeting with one of these guys and him being hurt badly or even killed. What is one of the kids at his school figures it out as being him and then beats the hell out of him? Those are the things Im concered about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Sorry but I do not get you guys? He hit his mother!!!! He should of been out that day. This has nothing to do with being gay. He has no respect for his mother.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 8:50 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • Gammie...he did spend the night at juvi..his violence has been an ongoing problem for many years. About a year before this incident of him hitting me when I took the computer he spent 3 months at a youth boys home/ranch to try to get his anger issues under control. I know this is something I need to confront him about but am afraid of his reacation. His dad is usless in this matter. When his dad and I were married and my son would hit me his dad did nothing in my defense.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

  • gammie...hitting her was NOT OK...but what is she supposed to do?kick him out?
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:14 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

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