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3 month old with seperation anxiety...

How do you deal with this? He can't hold anything for comfort or anything like that. I've just now got him to the point that he can play on his floor gym for about 45 minutes at a time a couple times a day. The other day I left him with my hubby for an hour (changed, fed, etc) so I could have some alone time going to the grocery store. He screamed from when I left til the time I picked him up when I got home. This happened again but with a babysitter tonight. We had to leave our meeting to come back home 2 hours early. Please, any suggestions? I've been trying hard to get him off of my lap as much as possible so I can get things done around the house and what not.

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Asked by Marri357 at 12:46 AM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 5 (94 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • he is only 3 months.. playing on the floor for 45 min is great.. & not sure why he would cry when your gone for hubby, but I am not sure if I ever heard of a baby this young having separation anxiety.. the baby can't see past his nose.. he should be ok if changed, fed, burped, changed diaper.. talk to hubby & sitter together to see if they both know how to care for a infant this young.. Also babies can feel when someone is uncomfortable, mad..etc

    Answer by maiahlynn at 1:06 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • OP: my hubby has been doing great taking him for a 5 hours the other day so i could sleep. this is only recent. i've read at this age they can see up to 12 ft and by the end of the month most are in color. he's not a colicy baby.

    Answer by Marri357 at 1:18 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Get a sling or other carrier.

    This is actually a positive; it is a sign of how well bonded you and your baby are.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:34 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • He is normal. This will pass. Don't try so hard not to pick him up because you will make it worse! He needs to know that you are coming back so he learnes security. You are his world as you are supposed to be. Get a sling or carrier so you can go about your business while he gets entertained by being with you.

    I have to leave my baby to go to work for 4 hours a few days a week and she is upset until I get back. It is just something daddy has to deal with and give her as much love, affection, and attention as possible even if she's wailing. When I'm home she clings to me like I'm going to dissapear because as far as she knows I vanish when I'm gone. Babies out grow it.

    This stage won't last forever. Trust me when I say that when you look back you will miss it and you won't be concerened about a few chores undone. Trust me, Get baby carrier!

    Answer by amileegirl at 9:04 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I agree with amilee. You're probably going to make the anxiety worse by not holding him enough. I couldn't get my son at 3 months old to play on the floor for more than like 5 minutes. 45 seems WAY excessive for "alone baby time" at that age - seriously it does. They have attention spans of like 10 minutes at MAX and you're leaving your baby with no human stimulation for 45 mins. If the baby was in daycare there would be bustle, people, children would be talking to the baby, etc. That's different. This situation sounds off. Then on top of that 45 mins of alone time TWICE per day - you're putting your baby down as much as possible? You do realize that pushing your baby away too often can lead to attachment issues?

    Get a wrap/carrier and hold your baby more.

    I held my son near constantly for his early life and he's extremely independent now..

    I understand your feelings, but you are a mom now - accept it! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Keep him entertained. He can be crying because he is bored.

    My son is the same way(he is 4 months old). He wants to be with me all the time. What I do if he gets really cranky is I put him in the carseat and stroll him around. I also play with him. If he starts to fuss, I put him in a different position.

    Answer by emtgirl885 at 11:31 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Going through this same thing!! I'm researching it, and everyone is saying it starts around 6 months. But maybe the reason it is earlier is because I'm a stay at home mom? She goes off and on screaming while I'm gone. I got home tonight and she was screaming her little lungs off and I picked her up and she instantly stopped! I'm not gonna lie it does feel nice to know she is attached and loves me so much, but it makes me feel horrible for my boyfriend. I try to tell him it's just cuz i'm at home with her all the time, but i can tell it hurts him. I'm leaving her with my parents next weekend for a night and am nervous she is gonna be like this the whole time. I'm going to leave a couple items of clothing with my scent on it, but haven't found any other tips? She's fine during the day when my boyfriend holds her its just if I'm not home, or when she gets sleepy. I feel anxious about leaving her now but I know i deserve time away

    Answer by pihlam at 12:00 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

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