Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

was my husband not attracted to me

I have been married for 17 years, recenlty I have just got down to my idea weight and I am still losing some. My dh has def noticed. I mean we have always had a good sex life mostly because I needed it so much. But since the weight loss hubby is all over me. We are having sex everday and on weekends multiple times a day. He is all over me, he is constantly jumping in the shower with me, kissing me snuggeling with me he constantly has his hands in my pants ALWAYS!!!. If we are lying on the couch together or taking a walk he slids his hands down the back of my pants. Dont get me wrong I LOVE THE ATTENTION!!!! But it use to NEVER be like this. I had to initate sex there was never any PDA now hw will kiss me and pinch my cheeks in public. I love it dont get me wrong. But he never use to be like this until i lost weight, was he not attracted to me before. Is he shallow? What do you guys think? Im concerned.

Answer Question

Asked by julietta22 at 12:48 AM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Soak it uop and if is because you lost weight then so be it he is this way know and that is great he loves you and he wants to show al the ways he loves you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I am sure he was! But now you are showing determination, willpower and hard work! Definitely a turn on!!!!!!!!! LOL Great Job! Keep it up!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Well, i think it's rather shallow but then again i'm in a crappy relationship so that's what i would see LOLLLL so...looking at it from "outside the box" maybe he felt like you didn't care about yourself anymore or had this stupid male vision of you looking like your hot sexy self at the snap of a finger after your kid(s) were born and when it didn't happen that fast he thought you'd stay that way forever or something, and once you started losing the weight, your self-esteem and confidence grew and the woman you were before babies and drama came back to life and he noticed it too. Know what I mean? When we are overweight we reflect how we feel about our bodies to our SO's/Hubbies and they can sense that ick feeling and it's probably a major turn off for them.

    At least he's into you. So be grateful. I'd give anything to have a man want me, and congrats for the weight loss.

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 12:54 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • ya it does seem a bit shallow to a woman.. but men have a different sexual orientation than women. for us its emotional and for them its physical...
    just ignore it and enjoy the attention and enjoy your life babe.. and congrats on the weight loss

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • hmmm IDK, mine is like that all the time even at my heaviest he was like that but i will say he didtn do it as often, not because he he didnt want to but because I had a problem with my weight and didnt exactly encourage the behavior KWIM? I dont know about you but when i was heavier i was unhappy and that took a toll on myself and my response to my dh. I did notice my Dh backed off and when i was heavy we discussed it and he was honest he said he wanted to but i sent the signals that i didnt want to be touched. I had to make a change in the way i acted.

    Maybe now that you have lost weight you are more confident and that is what you DH is reacting to not so much the change in your weight but the change in your confidence ( i am sure he is enjoying the new body as well lol)

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 12:55 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Enjoy it!!! Congrats on the weight lose!

    Answer by Charleys at 3:53 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Well enjoy the attention okay!? I don't want this to come off wrong, but men are stimulated visually, they just are. Women are stimulated emotionally. It does not necessarily mean he wasn't attracted to you before, but obviously he has watched you lose the weight and you most likely did it for yourself and he's just trying to tell you good job honey, you did it, I love you, you're beautiful. Also if you are more confident and pleased with how you look, it is going to come out in your action and behavior which in turn is going to draw him closer to you. Honey, this is a good thing, don't go worrying about the past, enjoy the right here and now. I know I've lost a bit of weight recently and I feel so much better, I walk taller, prouder, more confident, and my husband see it and is attracted to it.

    Answer by TarLion at 1:25 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Men are visually stimilated, and yes, If you were overweight, it probably didn't affect him much. NOT that he doesn't love you, but being overweight or underweight has shown not to be something that attracts men as much as being in the right weight zone. Studies have shown that men are drawn to women who look healthy, taken care of etc. Being over or underweight is a sign of being unhealthy. It doesn't mean he wasn't attracted to you, because everyone's husband will be attracted to their wife (unless their a total jerk), in some way, it just means he wasn't AS attracted. Don't take offense to it, it's just how it is, and enjoy it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.