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Considering abortion

I am pregnant with a man who is married. I am 7 wks. I intially thought about keeping it, but now I am reconsidering. What made me change my mind is that I am already a single mother from previous marriage. And the father of my unborn doesn't want anything to do with the child, he agree to pay child support if I wanted. he made it clear he wasn't leaving her and doesn't want me. He hasn't told his wife. I have seen and heard from many people that they are happyily married. This was an ongoing affair I didn't know he was married. I don't want to break up thier marriage if thats the case, bc I still do care for him. Abortion is the way to go any thoughts? And no adoption is not an option for me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 AM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • A lot of ladies I know will not agree with me at all. But If adoption is not for YOU. Then do what you know is right for you. I had a choice as this to make, not in this situation, but a choice and I had to do it. Only you what you can handle. So do what you know you can handle. Some time we just don't want to do adoption. Sometime abortion is the only choice for us. I know some people is not going to agree, but thats life and its your life, only you have to live with that choice. And am sure you thought of if the child one day ask where is my father then what you going to say. Thats why I say do you. Yes some may say just have it an give it up, but if you don't want that, then don't. Again do what you know you can handle. Best wishes and pray to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but there is no other way to voice my thoughts. You are an adult, you are responsible for your own actions. You should have considered this situation from the beginning of your relationship. History has proven that relationships with married men rarely work out. Now I know you said you did not know he was married, it is hard to believe, however if it is true you were still having sexual relations with out any sort of actual commitment. I am saying celibacy should have taken place however you are not a child and should've thought of what would happen if you became pregnant. You did not and I do not believe should be able to just erase your stupidity for a lack of better term. He offered to pay child support so what is the problem. It is not the babies fault you were acting as a juvenile so why should it not be aloud to be in this world. I am ok with abortion for certain reasons.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 5:13 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • However stupidity and immaturity are not on the list. My suggestion is grow up act like an adult and parent seeing as how you said you already had one child. Take responsibility for your actions and be a romodel for both of your children.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 5:15 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • If I were in your position, I would have an abortion. I strongly recommend going to speak with a counselor at Planned Parenthood www.plannedparenthood.org


    Good luck

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:03 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • You have to do what you have to do.  This is your decision and no one else's.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 6:57 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I really think that you need to look at the pros and the cons of this situation. You now what it takes to raise a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • My son is the result of an affair, its hard, and I am on my own, BUT I would not trade my son for the world!!! HE is an amazing little boy!

    Call the crisis pregnancy center in your area, they will have a councelor to talk to you and help you with what you want and need.
    good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Princess, as a woman who has been where you are...I can tell you, if there is a SHRED of doubt as to whether or not you should abort-do NOT do it. Especially if neither your life, nor your baby's is at risk. Forget that man, and love your child. You will-because I have been there!!!-YOU WILL regret it every day for the rest of your life-thinking of the whatifs...Your child did NOT ask to be conceived, but you knew conceiving would be a possibility when you laid down with the cheating bastard. Do not punish your child by taking away its chance at life. Please.
    I did, and I will never be able to fix it. NEVER. I would rather have my child with me right now. Your baby is the best thing that came out of such a messed up union...Don't do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • And DO NOT go to planned parenthood. Those asssholes helped convince me that it really was for the best...they don't get paid for NOT aborting babies!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • u have to weigh the pros and cons. its hard being a single mom as is. can u do it with a new baby? are u secer enogh to do it all with a new baby and no father in the picture. also u dont want to brake up a marriage and if u have this baby what if u need the father for med reasons? its easyer for someone to hide an affair then it is to hide a baby. how long do u think u/he can hide this fact? its your choice but unfortunly u only have so much time to decided. its a hard choice and im sorry u have to make it. i had an abortion many mny years ago. ( rape/beating ) and i made my choice and do not regret it not only for thereason it came to be but i was not in a stable/finantal situation. i am married now and have 2 children and my dh knows everything and understands. best wishes for u and next time make sure a new man is not married, also get some bc so u dont have to do this again. good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

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