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Husband took video without me knowing

He took a short video on his phone of us having sex without me knowing it. He was acting wierd, wanted the lights on, etc. I know he looks at porn on the internet and has even come across one of my friends on site, which he thinks it's great she and her husband have such a great sex life. I do not want naked pictures of me around!!! He knows how I feel and did it anyway. His answer, he wants pictures of his wife and if I don't trust him I should divorce him. I am pissed!!!! Any advice?
ps - married 10 yrs

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Wow! I'd be smashing that phone! This is a total lack of trust and respect. I think you need to seek counseling pronto!

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 9:56 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • if you have been nagging about him looking at porn maybe he just wanted to get a clip of you so he could have something to whack it to so you couldnt get mad

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:57 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I agree with TMJ121099-I'd get counseling.
    Sounds like he's trying to spice things up, but there is no reason for him to video you without your permission- I find that inexcusable. Maybe there are other things you can do to spice things up that could work for both of you.

    But I would get some counseling- that's a betrayal of trust on his part, he was wrong, not you. and based on his reaction, I bet he knows he was wrong too!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • WOW!! That is bad! Definitely seek counseling....and smash his phone!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • That was just wrong. The whole world might end up seeing those. Tell him if he is going to do it then ask your permission and let you wear a mask or set up the camera so your face isn't in the frame. My mom (God rest her soul) used to say if you take naughty pix don't ever let your face show. I didn't take naughty pix until I was 50 but I always remembered her wise words.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:09 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Yeah that was messed up he shouldn't have done that if he wanted a naked pic of you he should of took one with your breast or a close up of your nip but with your permission of course.
    If i were you when he is dead asleep make sure he has NO clothes on and get him somehow to move and position himself where his butt is showing get a dildo/vibrator and pour alittle mayo around the area and take lots of pic and show it to him later and tell him look what you were wanting to do last and tell him if he EVER takes pics of you again (he better have them deleted of you) You will some how post this on the (of him) What do you think will it work?

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:17 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • The issue is the lack of permission. Then what an a-hole thing to say, "then divorce me." He's pretty childish.

    I'd get the phone and delete it. Marriage is about being on the same team. This is not good sportsmanship on his part.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:31 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • That was completely disrespectful on his part. He may have a porn addiction. Counseling is an excellent idea for you both. It's not okay to record anything without permission, even you were married to him for 100 years instead of 10. Ask him to delete it, and if he doesn't respect your wishes, block adult content from your computer, throw away any dirty movies or magazines, and go on a sex strike until he complies. (hide all the lotion too!) He'll delete it when his balls are about to explode lol. good luck, and I really hope that you two can resolve this.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 10:31 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • There's a bigger issue here than him liking porn. I think you need to get on that site and make sure you aren't on there. What he did was illegal and he could end up in jail for it. I think you need to call a therapist right away and go and talk about his boundary and respect issues.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:41 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Rent a billboard and put a picture of him taking a dump up there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

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